justwrite 24 april

sometimes hearing my thoughts aloud shrouds my belief in fantasy there is truth spoken and the token gestures are pressed upon and pushed away and when I replay my answers the chances of dancing closer to the flame remain I burn my tongue on these unstrung rejoinders the questions are still in my head the rest of the book is still unread but I want to know the right responses the chooseyourown parts of the adventure seem so expensive as independent ventures and when I see the future it is unsutured to the present it is a hesitant rabbit danging the occasional nabbit but happily trapping carrots in healthy teeth a catch without release program and if I am such a writer where are my works and if I am such a teacher what lessons are being learned I have earned self-reproach and am coaching myself toward security the tea is too hot to drink the loyalty flashes on the brink jealousy in the sink swirling down down and all around the town the mulberry bush it’s a weasel being chased in the passive voice and it’s me doing the chasing perhaps before I collapse in inefficiency planting potatoes with the know-how I’ve just gained and when I walk home alone when I pick up my quiet phone and shake my head over Saturday night boiling water there are hotter ways to play there are other brinks on the drink of when I started this idea there were other thoughts forthcoming but the numbing is a quickfix I am ticklish in the brain sprained by ideas too planted to enchant myself I have health and some control but the goal is somewhat unclear and there are fears greater than late caffeine but whaddasthatmean