30 april

and if i hold my breath
it doesn't mean i doubt
it doesn't mean there cannot be
though looking at the feelings
making up the evidence
someone yes is thinking too much
someone should step back and breathe
no one needs to name a name
even as the spotlight shines
no one said i doubted
but
i hold my breath
i bite my thumb

29 april

in the long run
it's mostly a lot of short runs
strung together, strung along
can you make it to the corner
can you push up to the stop sign
waiting until the weekend
sleeping off sadness
water stop and go
pushing back jealousy
overlooking underwriters
keeping shoe laces tied
mile markers, keep perspective
waiting for the next call
measuring out in seconds
personal record, play it again
one fight, one flight
pushing to the finish

28 april

in other news
there is no other news
riots and earthquakes and politics
the supreme court has ruled
nothing looms larger than feeling
what does who think about me
can i trust and is that the truth
relationships sailing - anchors and sails
wind in the wonder, fanning frustration
anxiety and piety, martyrs and non-starters
give me all you have and more
tell me now who you adore
mirror mirror growing clearer -
is there anything else?

27 april

because it's okay to feel
too much and let it overflow
when you are lucky you are caught
when you are lucky you can float

an essay

• sometimes you eat ice cream
• sometimes you go to the sand way

when you are lucky a baby reaches for you
clings to your arms to keep you close

able to make everyone feel they are your favorite
believing it, because it's true

you were always special, you never asked for anything
that's because you already gave me everything

26 april

the thermostat in room 206 says 75

this is impossible, according to the occupant

cold under covers in one of two double beds

the one that isn’t empty

sinking through a feeling too cold to touch for long

twisting up and down the mountain roads was close

but this has less an edge

cool creeping dark setting in

taking in the idea of letting go

25 april

let me ask you again

if you had to do it over

what would you take on

what would you give up

who else would you be

weaving and waving through oceans of choices

wading into wonder and wandering through

charting a course a tapestry a mystery

solving next steps by creating by motion

there is only one now and one when

lessons to carry and questions to pose

forward to emptier pages

24 april

turning to sleep

I think of the last words I said

thinking they might be the last

I love you, I said

have a good sleep