Tuesday, June 30, 2009

justwrite 30 june

scallopine ocean edges dredge up memories a glimmery plow and now i seem to seek to see cape may but all that comes to mind are the pictures that i find occasionally tucked behind others a child and the ocean piers appear the occasional find on sand i am aware of a strand of jellyfish bites or stings that bring back a thought of some probable pain and a following fear or possibly the fear of imagined pain while the stain on my mind from the pain left behind could be real or imaginary a toothy fairy of pretend design defining all the differences as the same but stepping back from the game of sounds i've found another round of images the bigger to begin with the chocolate in a box the marble worth marveling at the hat a clear plastic lid grown big and bigger as it lingers out of focus some hocus pocus delivers t-shirts from the rusty nail a new one each year the coldest beer in cape may proclaimed by an absurd bird with a tetanus shot in hand landing in this hand by command of fred the friend the mustached lawyer drawing close to our family on his way and the high school past in halloween parades clasped between hands and hugs my father's extra brother and smothered in truth this seems like a spoof of someone else's story no escape to the glory of language just a capful of memory dropped into the spin cycle

Monday, June 29, 2009

justwrite 29 june

deciduous spleens stream along merrily sparing the good bits and filtering out the bad and it's too sad to have had a nickel for every pickle you swallowed last tuesday but the truth of the way is to stay on track is to counteract the running to rustle up some cunning gators the staters of the union the constitution notwithstanding like that grinding finding its way to our ears to eat up our fears of silence our self-reliance is tested out coasts are east-wested and what i want to know is where did you go this weekend and were all your eggs scrambled though i'm rambling through these lines there are times when my mind's going and my pencil's blank the tank is more than half full the brain is less a cap full than a head empty and the humpty dumpty unicorn spurns off all scorn and clatters like a matter the distance the resistance is too little the bits too fickle to hold back at the gates too late to wonder where the sense is to imagine if the tense is past or present the future sutured to each strand hand over heart over mind over matter and the splatter of unnamed colors triumphs over all others no matter if the picture was in black and white all through the night the writing on the window calls out for differentiation the space in between dreams gleams a cool light and delights as the sconces dim and the roses trim back expectations and head toward beyond

Sunday, June 28, 2009

justwrite 28 june

planning to go up the mountain there are mounting concerns
stern allegations stem stratagems
no one is competent to stand trial
trails lead up to the edge stand back
keep track of the lists the dates the states the unions
perched on the mountaintop
waiting for the forgery to come through
there are no reasons for the seasons not to change
this rearrangement ought to be considered
let us all be competent
let us face these charges
we will live large starving with our picnic baskets full

justwrite 27 june delayotype

in a caffeinated mindstream there are themes too persistent to attribute to abstract computations i mean to say the destinations i have in mind are too kind to be defined by any sort of tracking system the boundaries unfounded just rebounding past tense and into the trenches where the real feelings hover smothering themselves in mud the embarrassment of lacking in the requisite skills like conversation and items of interest and upon hearing fearful declarations worth of rebuttal and the trouble is that i would like to say there is no way like today no play we can upstage though the phases of concern earn pause as i ponder each clause in pursuit of the truth i ought to offer in response instead passing papaya and assorted tropical trail mix bits there are fits to be tied and i've tried to be open a remote enough chance and the timing leaves a little to be desired having admired the candles having handled the vandals at the gates pressing back from the buffet table scarcely able to complain as the drain leaks out and speaks about the conversations in condensation hanging hesitantly overhead

Friday, June 26, 2009

justwrite 26 june

when we think of the times that make us smile we style our whiled-away hours after the fashion of elastic ready to stretch back to our minds to our arms no harm in extending the present in making a future of the past yes elastic yes the trash will go out but recycling is hiking its way to the top of the circle by which i mean there is no top and the drop is in a bucket and the one that stuck it under the air conditioner had another drip coming since the machine's been humming since ten this morning but no warning of any moisture to rejoice over no spilling no cups running over any race space just chasing the lacing tighter and when i wake up tomorrow i will tell you a plan and i will scan the radio dial to tune in the stations one at a time the words the images and any assorted memorabilia this is what i'm thinking and i'm drinking in the mango freeze that is my mouth and a tongue south on flavor savoring the sweet though it be not tea there is joy for me in the closeness of a blueberry shared compared to a summer's day and lovely indeed and white-haired beyond compare the stare of a thousand sharks in the dark going what what and the but being shuffled in a conjunction leading to contrast but will it last past the page or will another conjunction be shunted in to take its place and yet for so

Thursday, June 25, 2009

justwrite 25 june

i am writing a re-run i have yet to begin the second time around but the sounds are good and the pitch is off the charts although what the charts have to impart has not yet been decided so i will gently bring up some suggestions that were mentioned somewhat in a back room the tack zooming in and lacing up ready to ride with grooms ready to hide dirt from an embattled saddle and though the trail is long the song loading will explode each angle with sand in the eyes the surprises of dough and notquite well i will just say there are some blank spaces to be filled in drilled in holes unfolding impossibly and moved although they are just empty air from here to there and japan a carriage ride away to stay on track i will attack from the left the center is too stable and the cheesecake too able we will make presents we will offer rebates the dates of which have passed and the last best hope will falter without remote control because who could possibly get up and cup the energy into a tenfinger grab of the channel tuning in without zoning out beyond the doubt of any commercial free and clear without rehearsal i am writing a rerun i have said this before i have been here i have watched written starred in this episode please tune in

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

justwrite 24 june

whose turn is it to point out that table manners matter
when there’s soup and it ought to be caught up differently
plus the crumbs unstrung from a loaf sliced for nicer fingers to linger over
and now a mask to keep track of each course of course off course for politeness
with an echo mirror of clearer dimensions in sticky tension on the tabletop
I would like to say and I would like to apologize for saying but I stay out of the waymy napkin my fork my words wait their turns

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

justwrite 23 june

early on it was where will you be after and when will who be where if there's nothing to wait for no space waiting to hold you forward or back or in place and the race to answers began and we thought and i talked and you said and i led easily in that direction it's something that i thought of and after all this time maybe this is the time time always with the waiting but waiting for why for what there's no sense in putting off a jump because if you're holding hands and both jumping maybe it's easier but breezier thoughts prevailed over what exactly was entailed and we hailed each step as accomplishment with nervous anticipation the station changing back and forth into static through the dramatic pauses with independent clauses sometimes more dependent than others and the smothered glances keeping in check the trek but when i am going forward you are waiting and the vice is versa the worse rehearsals spell discontent and when we meant going we are going and no showing like the present portends such accurate completion of the leaping but where we come down is yet to be known or shown and i'm looking for the right frames to see this through for me and you and everyone we know in the movies and the usual refrains remain

justwrite 22 june delayotype

shadows of dreams seem to echo brightly through the days the humid air stale with waiting fading in and out of patience and the delay in response merely a suggestion that another direction might be the more admirable the admiral of a sunset sea in which everyone floats easily no wages no sin no death just a stretch between senses a verb without tenses inviting the pleasure of conjugation with no destination in mind finding neither hide nor fair hair of a tale fit to tailor to the audience a preponderance of data flitting through the stratosphere the clear air pressing gently into the wet grass beside the driveway digressing from the text and what's next

Sunday, June 21, 2009

justwrite 21 june

while the sun is shining there are three bits to consider and i have forgotten most of them so let's just say that if there is a need to run then it should be done while the moon is full of compassion and the lashing together of tongues has undone many great empires conspiring into transpiring like trainspotting like transplanting other movies i haven't seen to the great between behind another corner the warmer to see you with the cookier to bake a dish let's just say i have written an extra menu and you can order off of either and the sweeter tale is the told the unsold bargain driving hard into the driving rain i have never been to spain but i like moss i have never been the complete boss that i think i ought to be because it's just not necessary in anyone else's mind which is fine for me and actually i think i know this would sound better out loud grounded in and out of circuits a circus with extra rings to get back to the things of three well let them be instead and we will wear our glasses full of juice we will vamoose into vaguely mid-american cities looking for the gritty parts to show up in our combs our dissatisfied toothbrushes and the ants that dance with their hands held high sighing rhythmic business into the tunnels all around

Saturday, June 20, 2009

justwrite 20 june

there's three for one and one for a half with laughing in stock and in style whiling away the wild hours in between the space we've seen fit to separate into states the lines chiming different times tones clones of a clover like four parts in harmony the ceremony not waited on the lake not woebegone i will tell you something once i know it there's a way to grow it up and not out and the doubts about the trout caught in such an upstream battle leave little to prattle on about today i was asked and i told in words too big to sound my own the syllables stuck into my cheeks as if to brag about as if to doubt like serenity half-baked into pie a meringue of some sort a contorted twist in the dark when the wind came crashing down enough to drown a bridge and too big to stage a cage let me make you a cone and you can fill it with your own whistles the thistles of a backward glance caught by chance in a renegade colander i set out to float to safety like a calender clear of purpose left only with space there are chases we will run out we will hold hands and the understanding will come over us i am afraid of the empty but we will overflow with words and heard whispers answered dreams but let us not suggest otherwise until morning

Friday, June 19, 2009

justwrite 19 june

so far i am pleased
thus far each guitar has breezed a breathless note
no sound like the present tense
immense waves of greek letters
littering the pavement with bands
titles names flames gloating
glowing in the gloaming
amber waving saving face
tasting trace elements
i would like to say thank you
forevers are some long times
i am excited to find them
breathe in several more times
continue to breathe out
doubt the uncommon miracle
faith in the hysterical
cylindrical tubes pieces chalks
the walks of life like sales of yard
too hard to imagine such a situation
the station never changes
the dj never arranges orders
short-order cooks with disorders
rearranging side dishes
errant wishes aberrant fishes
three-eyed minnows
i have got to go to get forward
i am ready i am going i do not go alone

justwrite 18 june delayotype

a complicated series of events transpire
there's a fire
guns for hire
we are watching ourselves watching each other
no time like the past
no blast of anxiety fit to tie a fir tree
the clues have ears
deeper into now here we go
a montage of thank-yous
red lights

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

justwrite 16 june delayo

but before you turn all the way invisible can you divide the space inside by the square of the outside line roughly defined as the other the blank the ranks you'd like to break the bread you ought to fake in the baleful glance tied up with twine winds its way through golden fields of purple mountains all the grainiest photographs of amber waves saved on a shelf in an unvisited room the titles of which are turned away and this is a title image i could find i could work with given the chance and the space an elastic band to expand and confine the dining room intentions with undertable dimensions stretched out of pretension and rolled into a corner a scorner of secrets deposited in baggy pockets upblowing in the breezery the escalator street corners and the cattle calls that send us all scrambling toward our eggs and begging the question

justwrite 17 june

this is where the fair part gets played laid out like a bout of doubts all cast out into the wilderness leaving only bliss and biscuits to be had gladly

no one will say goodbye we will wait for other turns in the tall hallway the unexpected engraved in silver a sliver of tear and nuts to it all a salad ballad heavy on the spatial dimensions

Monday, June 15, 2009

justwrite 15 june

having hinged my head open i find the lines defining dark from light have quit for the night aqnd the battle they fight has squeezed into scrambled eggs the dregs of all other attempts and as the lamp flickers out there are doubts but there is no flow to feed those thoughts they ought to shut down quietly into that good

Sunday, June 14, 2009

justwrite 14 june

in such a state the rate of expenditure is greater than the fate of less than standards i have to tell you the quality of care upstairs is less than desirable and the admirable traits left righthanded have got to lead to scandal at some point there's no wonder there's no other situation left to resolve no caretakers baking up mistakes like cupcakes with backward sprinkles and the truth is the youth is too young to understand to come undone to shrug halfheartedly full liveredly the vegetable notwithstanding the grand mishandling of the evidence and when it's the last day to play cards it's too hard to imagine any other tragedy and i am bored with the implications i am changing the station into a different color there is no other background around the court may it please the witnesses may the bliss of different compasses point everyone north there's a torch to bear and a steady stare looking back from the mirror there are heroes but i am not one there are suns but i am a daughter and i wish i had a better answer when anyone asked but the questions are not studiable except in reverse and my rehearsed answers fall back hollow in the sunfilled afternoons the evenings with the cooldamp air waiting to slip between the blinds

Saturday, June 13, 2009

justwrite 13 june

step aside leave space to erase self there is a shelf and there is dust but the rust on the shoes will kick up blues like no other like a mother and a threadbare share of sense the fashion released in suits resolved backward like an unarmed man a clan with no alma mater let us pledge ourselves to indifference to the microwave let us save yourself from myself when my fingers type what i should have meant to have thought to say when no way i can let the syllables slip from lips frozen into sullen confusion the illusion of a reason indiscreetly hidden while unbidden slumps strike between the shoulder blades and fade some enchanted evening back from the brink ready to rethink the recipes the stress tests and how to fail the books and how to look past faces and see text i would like to serve better i would like to receive better and the sleeved letters of your record-breaking endeavors all say congratulations i had meant to tell you i had tried to sell you all the books from my shelf i had tried to save myself i am sorry again i would like to rephrase this afternoon setting the netting letting in all the mosquitoes and the bites add up like soupy cups of dinner that can not figure out any sort of menu a can-do scenario with a so-what attitude i would like to remove myself from this space and out into otherspace although it may be somewhat chilly and the conversation may leave something to be desired i have fired myself from the position and under the care of a self-named physician i will continue in this replacement mission having missed the prime directive or removed it in elective surgery thought to be to cure something more ill less well but to tell the truth there is no use for stalling when the calling's all the birds

Friday, June 12, 2009

justwrite 12 june

after everyone else has left we all just admire you and respect you so much and i am nodding awkwardly there is nighthumid air on my ankles and the dog has gone elsewhere in search of leftovers discarded in unexpected places the vaulted ceiling the carribbean paint these pictures i have awkward posture on these shoes sometimes and my car is behind that angle i will take that tupperware those avocados at yoga today i was thinking of thinking nothing and now i am thinking of everything that becomes space when you step back where you is me but you could do it too and the walls that clear up like a passing storm the blue sky the white paint scratched by each siderow desk i will still be here in august i will still be the contact for this glass case just in case sort of feedback if i get a job it will not be the one i have i can not say no to applicants the chance they meant to have a good impact left intact unbroken like an unspoken conspiracy we will say no more of those doors we will leave them closed but indisposed or undisclosed like a location to keep the president or his vice which may still be smoking despite a lack of concrete evidence to the contrary because where there is no smoke there may still be some fire

Thursday, June 11, 2009

justwrite 11 june

if i shrug off sound and slither into a meaning devoid of confusion what illusions will be lost what senses will be tossed beyond the typical five and can we all thrive together and on without some pretending neverending circumstance to trance you out to doubt your meaning leaning hard on the line breaks when they appear here

and there unaware of situational anxiety propogated by such hesitated-over syllables i am wondering about journals about dreams how scenes seem to be sensitized digified my dishes are clean if you're wondering but all i will do is eat all i will walk on is feet and to be more specific my own with bare nails stalled out in hibernation there is another situation i have no boxes i have too many clocks and not enough time

if i work and work out and flout sleeping in will i grown thin in sense will i be pleased will i feel ill at ease into a race there is no point in winning will i grin steadily in a painted style where have all the sweaters gone and why is the crocodile so pleased

justwrite 10 june delayo post

in the dream kelli and i are making copies right before school the bell but instead familiar secretary sandy announcement instead attention this is not a joke the threat level has been raised from yellow to blue please report to the auditorium for more instructions and information these are our school colors this is unprecedented the color has never been this high and down along with everyone we sit seen from above two diamonds of folding chairs students in front staff second listening to announcing due to an incident of international terrorism in london two men broke into the space agency something etc and destroyed controls of a distant space ship and as a result one hundred thousand people will die and now a video presentation on how the human body dies from exposure because this is what will happen to them and as we know the body contains three kinds of plastic and the sideways cut human body model shows a crinkly red plastic straw trachea

nearly too much unwinding downtiming no one can relax on this track keeping track taking back days left replacing them with what's next trying to trip up into the right reaction a better answer understandable not reprimandable i am talking about not talking and the wondering about humid space in the human race toward whatever through the lightning with no lightening of loads just roads to travel and woods yellow or dark and deep just too steep to swim in alone i would like to mention this burn on my left knuckle of unlikely describability i will not blame the toaster i will coast through quickly i will try to wipe away the sullen sodden expression heavy in the dark and i will seek the pillow

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

justwrite 9 june

i should have started writing this earlier back when maybe and what if and application was a destination instead of a backthen but now i am and now i am telling and the felling of these memories into pages like a forest blocking and protecting but there is nothing secret there are smoke rings and there are messages like paths between then and now and how i got here and where i am going which is another there let me just say that today i am feeling good i had breakfast there was a cookie in this day and also a huge storm that was only outside there was some cleaningup and only a little of it was inside i went to a meeting i thought about saying goodbye i said i will see you this summer i decided to write on the board to pretend to have a role there was no goal for me but to keep being and to smile and to talk about ideas on how to be a leader but there was nowhere for me to lead and who would want to follow i was on the phone i was talking again i was searching for birch beer she told me to write and i said yes i write and there were other thoughts and i bought some yogurt i want to wonder how to put it together i thought about a separate notebook for the honesty the straightforward but there is also the transparent emotion in everywhere else let me think about doubt until i am sure and i will start starting before it is too close to the end and i can't begin right

Monday, June 8, 2009

justwrite 8 june

head breaks open
fools rush in
canoes on the way out
stored up in mothballs
calling all the kettles
the cannons on the fritz
always with the chicken pox
an empty mall hall
where have all the bargains gone
shop alone along again
all the walls
stalling out like cow lips

Sunday, June 7, 2009

justwrite 7 june

let us discuss the adoption of options
i have feathers in my cap
there is chapstick in the car door
it's stuck
the truck costs the same as a boat
in hot weather
she took landing lessons
no urge otherwise
let's be safe
let's eat deviled eggs
we spend so much time being good
i will close my mouth
but only when i chew
the flies have it the dangs nab it
i have baked this cake to take it
out for dinner
acclimating the dogs
a half-pipe full of skateboard dreams
honeydew miscellany
i am just making things up
there are cups full of diet
i have tried it
all with ice
lazy sensibility
the quality here is very clear
i will look for balloons i will sun the moon
there are toads in every garage
a smile in the woods and the corners on deck
the best guess at what's next
lingering in the spoon waiting for the tongue

Saturday, June 6, 2009

justwrite 6 june

poster coasts like a boast made in the dark with the sharks you know what i mean and you've seen what i scream in the dark so there are no guesses to stress there are no tests to pass backward into the future the situation is somewhat grim but the lawntrimming needs to be done before your allowance is allowed the shadows shaved off by the raving crowds are too loud to be acknowledged in public the repugnant characteristics of closeheld smothering let me tell you i will look out for those i will be indisposed to making resolutions in general but the solution as i see it is to grease those wheels and steal the deals with sealed feelings we will never speak of this again let us talk instead of chinese food and the great pains to remain crunchy like cashews in the face of sauce and the grasshopper advice is to play nice with the grass and to sing too fast forward into motion to allow the sun to salute in return hello i will burn you in the nicest possible way and to say otherwise would be to disguise the truth an uncouth invitation to disease but the please and the thankyou and the money charged to those living large in search of death is a second breath away from guessing sense but the dollars always tell the truth

Friday, June 5, 2009

justwrite 5 june

let me just tell you something to say nothing of anything
there are things i'd rather have unseen or unsaid
i have a shovel and i am digging and digging a whole hole
big enough for my face and feet
i am going very quickly and the race is to the most awkward
i will apologize for anxiety
i will digress from depression and return again
let us discuss cake instead
let us eat ourselves into an ice cream dream
i have written a poem with such a title
such a title! i said at the time and now i repeat it
such a title!
i am interested in the forthcoming days
i have paid the rent but just vaguely
lost in the wind in the rain of the dark of postal workers' dreams
i would like to vacuum first
if i am slowing you down please say so
i am asking too much and telling too much
munching on something unnecessary this is the way
let's split a deserted island
i will slide on the bananas and you can go

Thursday, June 4, 2009

justwrite 4 june

vaguely tired of wrongly inspired meals
the feel of evidence too tense in the calves
up on tiptoes topping some other charts
hearts and their handbags
we all want the right brand of bangs
no bucks for luck just stuck in a rucksack
attacking the taxes
we have no way out
i am wondering where the wandering will end
stend rend bending fenders
bandaged elbows
phone calls without numbers
the plumber called he thinks you're loopy
the loose ends a little to be desired
leaving that is
grieving the space
what do you want and how soon
i can not give you what you're asking for
you have not asked for anything
i am holding on to my own pockets
there are rocks i would like to use as balloons
we are going into elsewhere
i will watch a film
i will make a matter of fact observation
there is no destination like the present
i am not interested in this color question
i would like to mention the alternatives
unfortunately they have been misplaced
i am ready to trace my steps back and away
no power over under all the prepositions fall away
labyrinth notwithstanding no understanding

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

justwrite 3 june

lamentable toast of the town the frowning down and around the corner the brainstormer the theater of the absurd the unheard-of delights of a summer night with fireflies and a surprise announcement of marshmallows a bonfire conspiring to develop a tellable story a glorious reminder with exquisite details entailing each need each feedable hunger among the wasted moments the toasted donuts and the abuse of sugar warming up a trend with no end a sauce with no boss which is to say barbeque and i want to tell you i am ready to grieve leaving i uncovered this morning a dream last night and there were tears or near-tears when i woke up and i thought i will write this down but instead i felt the air checked the time fell back asleep there is something to be said for leaving a covering on the mindside dishes left to chill the day creeps in and drapes the crepes in a manycolored coat a remote chance of genuine flavor surviving arriving on time and delivering lines not meant to be remembered the timbers all shivered the delivered pizzas dressed with olives on the courthouse steps on half a laugh out of relief and the belief in the reappearance of invincibility gone for some time on a dime and a hard place a chase to the race to the finish and with you in it i will run i will be redone like a painting made of tomorrow and the frame will be gilt spilled richly onto a page stage left and right and the center will go up for the jumper and come down with the score

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

justwrite 2 june

re-word the awards rewarding the careful the stares full of tires
round they are and round we go
i am going rounder i am growing sounder
the judgment is in question
the lessons are teaching themselves inaccurately
i am stacking the cookies in a row and so
there we are there you go you know we blow by
i will cry without an answer
i will chance to dance upon a stance not yet taken
the stole has whole your soul
there's no two halves about it
the haves not have got to be kidding
witting our way through tuesday
again again again
my minutes are up
in the air
if i was laughing you would know we would try it together

Monday, June 1, 2009

justwrite 1 june

i find i have delayed all entries the sentries are not amused
we abuse our knees and imagine our knees differently than they ought to be to bend
to fend for ourselves we will need more foil
the foils toil in endless self-deprecation
the deception is hereditary
here and there-y
a scary ware to sell
let me tell you i will not make it to the bottom of this page
boots all the rage so stylish and comfortable
the confrontable concerns none of my own
your misfortune is
the hot dogs that spoke too soon
i will carve that antelope moon
i will suggest alternatives
let me delete this street and start again
just like parting the water
a sideways ponytail
let's consider ourselves lucky

justwrite 30 may delayo

all you people
chasing the steeple:

the race is hazy
days beyond belief

the chief concern:
a burning learning curve

justwrite 31 may delayo

taking stock
the addition equals
just socks
headlights and toasters
rest areas faring fairly well
no ferry from here to there
cross the quarry/ another story
no worries/ no melting
speeding into gentle stillness
feeding some release/ relief
plenty of space here the floor
sandstorm stillness/ limestone bliss

justwrite 29 may delayo

enough of this time travel unravelling each page to the next stage there are ages and there are rages better kept in cages to fade in and out of birdsong singing along like a throng of starlings startling the heartstrings into music i will sing and be glad the agreements will be ironclad no sixth sense none the richer than the bits and pieces scattered around like categories too unexplainable highly detainable the strong songs of the longshoremen ready to call a day a day and to pay to play along to the song on the rutabaga jukebox i am laughing at the chicken pox emerging like an urgent need in need of feeding heeding no cry i am always a critic before the beginning starts and the parts i'd like to play often already on stage on shelf in better long-term health than i am denying each clipped tone a toenail away from a tome of collected works jerking along the line the bread instead of apples dappling the morning like a mare unaware that gray is the color of fading both in and out and the doubts that collect in the drain are strained by experience the delirium of strategy trying to explain itself there is no wealth but wisdom there are no decisive incisors but teeth and the wreath on the door implies more than they're willing to explain so abstain from asking the tasking list clasping wrists made of dominoes exposed like raw noise like annoyance delivered with a shiver of humidity a proclivity toward words and back attacking the space between and skimming the print the ink the darkness for which there is no measurement no return just earned escape in grape-sized bites the bits of steps toward what's left once we've leapt off the trail beyond the pale glow of flashlight tracing what's ahead with a racing mind instead of sense beating the train with no gain but getting elsewhere first