justwrite 20 october

I am thinking about running I am trying to become a doer of this deed and the need is great but the options are varied that weight I’ve carried inside and out and the doubts no one is coming up from behind no one is pushing or pulling there are no strings attached no catches collapsing we are trapping our own beliefs yes you can I can not I am not flexible I am not that technically skilled where there’s a will there’s a wick and you can burn you can trick yourself into damp air and heavy wind but there’s somewhere to begin look at those sneakers pick up that pen there’s a weekend and another but there’s no time like biking out of the garage a new Saturday with watchers proud and a sandwich waiting later barbeque chips and a trip to the somewhere else a flea market a park ready for the rest of the day there’s just the right dessert and how do you celebrate what do you contemplate when you’re getting ready to breathe steady do you look down at a gut or into a mirror imagining clearer views from the sideways truth get up and get up and in the early afternoon everything seems possible but when it’s still dark and then when it’s dark again it’s much such easier to park with a cushion and exercise the inside hiding from the list and twisting off those simple chores scoring easier endeavors and leaving the rest for some other test-taker and when you live alone and when you’re in that zone you can only do that business by yourself you can only drink to someone else’s health if you have your own it’s a truth we all subscribe to no one can like to you but yourself and if you believe that here’s an old hat so that you can be invisible you can live indivisible but that’s not the way it goes each day goes to show that the night will still come and little pieces and parts get drafted drifting elsewise surprising the neighbors and your own restless dreams teeming with plans and scans scandals you can handle with your eyes closed but can’t stomach in the light or the other way around the ground between you and those dreamy shores is teeming more and more with scores to be settled and courage to be mettled measured meted out through a filter of doubts it’s something like empowerment but here all that’s meant is running time forward and out