justwrite 15 january

Tired of having hired such nickel-sized moments for dollar’s-worth devotions this is the quiet space which the snow hath made and I’ve paid to play but I’m sitting out I’m thinking about and I’m walking on the anyway anyway the words can play but the message ought to fade let’s skip to the concrete the feet on the floor without socks beside the register slow to turn to winter but the window makes it clear heat on the bottom and glass on top there’s not much to say but shorts to wear and socks off an easy cough while falling asleep that creeps up in a meeting and everyone turns to look an apology just a cough not commentary nothing scary like a judgment on what’s been said or how words were read this is my vocabulary and I use it as I wish I am fishing for answers and will take what bites the lights in the living room are of varying degrees where one is dark and one is parked at 40 while 65 or 70 or some other speed limit’s the top notch but the oldest maybe wisest though brightest is not always the same look at this game that I’m playing and wonder where my points are wonder where the gold star I’m trying to earn must’ve burned off in the rain the ice the something well anyway it’s gone and I’d like to have it back but I’ve driven off the track again just telling the truth stepping out from the roof and making it rain not a money metaphor just a step outside the door and into ramifications into investigations and greater hesitations where once there were some and now there’s a blank had a filling-up tank with thanks and pleases and now the breeze is whistling through what else could I do other than nothing which is fussing with ignoring and there’s nothing quite as roaring as a fire not a lion or a tiger but bears out for strolls and for celebrating nights those are the kind of fights I rush into swinging bringing myself down before the first bout yeah I did that yeah I hid scattered clues brushed off truth and sense and thought I’d have a go and so if things had been upright and straight and narrow would the feeling be warmer or cold in my marrow a shiver and delivering the answer dancing disaster another act of the same another round of some shame scattered in another’s mind not mine to be mined so now just left behind