post 5 february

justwrite 5 february

in the dream I had packed for hanover but the lady in charge was saying Lexington and I love my sister and all but I hadn’t planned for such a distance and my resistance increased when the woman released her belief that it wasn’t that far north and of course we all supported the opposite belief that we were headed south to her doubt but whatever the driver never said a word and while it seemed absurd to me there was no way to guarantee anything but our eventual stop and to top it all off I hadn’t been online the day before and the stored anticipation at receiving certain communications was almost too much though our parents something something couldn’t be there and it was unfair for my sister to compete with no supportive audience in place and this seemed to be my only function and at the next dreamish junction we were staying in a dormitory where I was upstairs and she was elsewhere with her friends and I had to wake them up and pretend excitement and I was wearing an outfit involving some sort of leggings due to the packing redacting originally committed but off we went her with a groaning smile disappointed in the wakeup hour but ready to deliver in whatever sphere this was and we next were in a building someone’s apartment but shouldn’t have been there clearly a fear we had slightly overcome except for a few problems like the apartment across the street with the window watching closely and too much glare to tell who was there and where did all those kittens come from and when heavy steps meant an opening front door our hiding spots were poor and the cats were on our backs

justwrite 4 february

I have often walked have talked about conclusions others made in profusion long ago but then shall my life be a musical shall I guess at the truth in full chorus lines of support when we purport to make claims but our fames are too unreliable we’d be threatened at the trial full of strangers the ones with the article found in camus and wholly unused to musical testimony their doubts would be too clear and they’d throw the whole thing off they’d scoff at tender melodies and talk through entr’actes with sneezes at the most poignant scenes when we mean to tell our tales in snide asides or laughable tracks we collapse in our own delight but it’s frightful to see them search in their programs wondering where I am or why this pastry has oranges inside and we find our concessions are not quite adequate but what’s really bad about it is the sleepers those who rustle their chocolates and talk a lot and then drop off easily in the restful crushed velvet doubly disappointed by the creaking joints as they lean to and who fro from what kind of mother was such a child brought up I shiver to imagine the gladdened stories brought to their glorious knees in an attempt to tease this being out of being such but there must be a bluff called a ticket bought and that’s some kind of support that’s some kind of remorse we won’t have to shovel out of the aisles after the last curtain comes certainly down and this clown falls down with his pants and starts to dance in anxious criticism of all that befalls and has befallen those characters in their diverse uh uh uh struggles uh uh uh and it’s one to watch now as we lean in to hear and how as he attempts to make a bow but the audience is all gone now