justwrite 9 august

without opening the door it’s hard to see outside the window just doesn’t let in enough there are curtains and also certain glares glazing the glass even the finest newest truest panes taking pain to retain their forms not yet giving in to viscosity it takes so long you know to bow out that glass much less to blow out a lasting impression once it’s caught in your throat but back to the view it’s true that the way out is usually through the door better makes itself than a window and so when I pressed gently and turned the knob then gently pushed the door out into the elsewhere I knew that there was no turning back a frame to stand upon but idioms slipping away no more living room behind no comfortable foyer where all the shoes are known just an invitation both ways to have and to let go to invite in and to send away and I’m playing along the whole time imagining that what’s mine will come to rest I’ll pass some test and everything will be sorted into place a goldfoiled box with chocolate names engraved in violet letters on ivory lid we have hidden behind and peeked through the peephole wholly long enough I have called all the bluffs and my own but it’s easy to pretend you’re flying freely when you’re safe on the ground if I let go and the wind blows what will be left what has heft enough to stand to hold itself up to step out and look around and if I do will I come back to the same spot or will it disappear too is there a clear view from any angle but forward forewarned we pretend out into the distance we examine each grain each plan plain to our own eyes but surprising to the listeners glistening with their own bristlebright ideas they hadn’t thought like that they hadn’t brought that cat into the room much less the elephant and I’ve long spent my time wondering and pining but there are also oaks and other trees and the breeze that blows might as well have some company on its way I can’t stay for long but I’ll have a look around here and step clear for a while trying on the style of a new trend waiting for this wave to end and envisioning a shore that’s more like the picture I never had in mind the better to redefine self and health in the shaking up while cupping my own elbows in the chilly night drinking in a thought of confidence and turning aside to sleep