justwrite 22 july

down comes the rain because what else can it do and it’s true sometimes we think we have purposes sometimes we see ourselves as grand as if our hands were meant to be led along in velvet gloves and not shoved into the dirt maybe sometimes it hurts to hear this but there’s a church and you built the steeple there are people out there and it sounds unfair but they’re smarter and tarter and they work so much harder that it might well get turned into a dr. seuss gobbledygook but also it’s true and what’s the use in pretending why not get over yourself in defending all that effort as useful with there’s a spoonful of future medicine in every present sugar and when I remember what I gave up when I think of all the species in the dirt in my cup I have got to spit it out and I could really have done without that section on bacteria the clearinghouse of disgusting bits mixed up with dinnertime there are lines that could have been skipped but for now we’ll have ripped out all the seams and it’s time to come clean I am tired of missing but I am the one who decided that such a quiet riot ought to be published and sometimes I wonder where the wandering will end sometimes I defend myself against myself and sometimes I don’t sometimes I won’t even see it coming but the plumbing is all off and the cough is a gentle surprise surmised from a trunk full of clues and what can you use to build with we have jacks and jills and filled-up alarm clocks wound to rebound in an endless recovery of all the time in the world and what do we do with it where is it melting to on the living room couch as I deepen my slouch and deliver a quivering heatwave to a humid rest detesting movement except what is necessary and planning for the ferry to carry me home or at least somewhere cooler and hip like a square deal a rounded edge meant to hedge the bets but the next step is to bring some order to this meal and there’s nothing on the menu that I’m planning to ask for but I can’t take to task a more important effort than trying and buying in occasionally the reasons I don’t dance and the chances I don’t take mistakes I am building upon and which are subtracting from my additional progress I am planning to speak more loudly next time and if my grammatical crimes go unpunished then I will have cookies for lunch and I will read longer in the shade with lemonade sunshine fixed at the right angle and blueberries and peaches within easy reaches