Downs today:
·
Discomfort of in a new seat, so many people
staring and the openness behind me leaving me vulnerable
·
Feeling like I let the team down by leaving them
·
Awkwardness about what to do when someone tells
you they’re quitting but their boss doesn’t know yet
·
Almost nothing said to me all say by other party
·
Not getting to go to the Silver Diner with said
other party
·
Not getting together with multiply mentioned
other party before a holiday week apart
·
Receiving from a friend a series of three
messages, each of increasing brevity, letting me know that she would try to get
to half of the recommendations she said she would do – then begging off from
all – then saying she couldn’t do any of them
·
Sharing some frustration with other party only
to receive no real response but sleep
·
Distracted strategy session resulting in less
strategic thinking than we started with
·
Inability to look past hurt and accept vague
effort at invitation
Ups today:
·
Laughing with strangers at Trader Joe’s, helping
to alleviate pre-holiday line stress
·
Absolute positive response from boss agreeing to
step in and help with references [Of course. I can’t think of anyone I would be
happier to refer to a PhD program. Happy Thanksgiving.]
·
Baked potato with sour cream and cheese and
baked beans
·
Leaving work early
·
Call from sister bucking me up
·
Hopkins hoodie and scarf upclose for warmth
·
Orange juice
Other people. Always the most confusing.
Food and warmth. Always the best.
Tears or nears multiply today. I’m
disappointed in myself, and it’s heavy.
Let’s regroup, shall we?
I want to stay focused, but there’s so little to focus on.
If I were to underline the thesis statement thus far, I might be hard-pressed
to find it. On the rubric, that generally, drops you down pretty far pretty
fast. Yes, because everything is scored on a rubric. Ideally.
Okay, so then, a thesis it is.
Thesis: No matter what you do in thirty days – short of
killing yourself – a month in your life will pass.
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