Wednesday, November 25, 2015

25 november



Downs today:

·         Discomfort of in a new seat, so many people staring and the openness behind me leaving me vulnerable
·         Feeling like I let the team down by leaving them
·         Awkwardness about what to do when someone tells you they’re quitting but their boss doesn’t know yet
·         Almost nothing said to me all say by other party
·         Not getting to go to the Silver Diner with said other party
·         Not getting together with multiply mentioned other party before a holiday week apart
·         Receiving from a friend a series of three messages, each of increasing brevity, letting me know that she would try to get to half of the recommendations she said she would do – then begging off from all – then saying she couldn’t do any of them
·         Sharing some frustration with other party only to receive no real response but sleep
·         Distracted strategy session resulting in less strategic thinking than we started with
·         Inability to look past hurt and accept vague effort at invitation

Ups today:

·         Laughing with strangers at Trader Joe’s, helping to alleviate pre-holiday line stress
·         Absolute positive response from boss agreeing to step in and help with references [Of course. I can’t think of anyone I would be happier to refer to a PhD program. Happy Thanksgiving.]
·         Baked potato with sour cream and cheese and baked beans
·         Leaving work early
·         Call from sister bucking me up
·         Hopkins hoodie and scarf upclose for warmth
·         Orange juice

Other people. Always the most confusing.

Food and warmth. Always the best.

Tears or nears multiply today. I’m disappointed in myself, and it’s heavy.

Let’s regroup, shall we?


I want to stay focused, but there’s so little to focus on. If I were to underline the thesis statement thus far, I might be hard-pressed to find it. On the rubric, that generally, drops you down pretty far pretty fast. Yes, because everything is scored on a rubric. Ideally.

Okay, so then, a thesis it is.

Thesis: No matter what you do in thirty days – short of killing yourself – a month in your life will pass.

No comments: