justwrite 2 july

history careens through the recent past the last time i sat down to catalogue events the immensity of the future pressed down on my pencil breaking the point and disjointing the flow before i go i would like to begin with the beginning but to be genuine is to begin again and where am i going to start the departure no less clear than a fear unavoidable even in the present i am considering how the past lasted to this point to begin with i applied but besides that i decided or we considered what a reconsidered future could look like and the cook might have added some ingredients but the pot was already boiling the annoying sense of having been here before but the feeling that more will transpire with encouraging fire lit underneath to seek and to find encouragement as the tracks run parallel at the peril of falling behind too kindly the gentle pushing the secret recommendations for embarking from the station in such a vehicle the considerations the delight of expectation the hope of metamorphosis the wish to twist out of a cocoon but the desire to for comfort i am writing in more cursive than usual or for perhaps some other reason my hand is more tense as it is when you try to say what you want to say and are tripped up by opportunity it occurs to me to conserve this space though to chase emptiness in order t0 fill it up is to spill it open with the hope of some completion the release into the warm wide open