justwrite 9 june

i should have started writing this earlier back when maybe and what if and application was a destination instead of a backthen but now i am and now i am telling and the felling of these memories into pages like a forest blocking and protecting but there is nothing secret there are smoke rings and there are messages like paths between then and now and how i got here and where i am going which is another there let me just say that today i am feeling good i had breakfast there was a cookie in this day and also a huge storm that was only outside there was some cleaningup and only a little of it was inside i went to a meeting i thought about saying goodbye i said i will see you this summer i decided to write on the board to pretend to have a role there was no goal for me but to keep being and to smile and to talk about ideas on how to be a leader but there was nowhere for me to lead and who would want to follow i was on the phone i was talking again i was searching for birch beer she told me to write and i said yes i write and there were other thoughts and i bought some yogurt i want to wonder how to put it together i thought about a separate notebook for the honesty the straightforward but there is also the transparent emotion in everywhere else let me think about doubt until i am sure and i will start starting before it is too close to the end and i can't begin right