31 may

play the thing with wings or is it feathers either way it ought to float like hope like ivory soap like the flotsam and jetsam that get some and get gone out the way like newmown hay or the dawning day that comes but once again and again like a scandal we can't handle unless it's on repeat unless we save our seats for some other sitters like these lines were penned by some other writters and i've scattered the clues but together they're no use if you won't pick them up from the overflowing cup and under wondered sign post for there's mostly direction and correction but up above you soar

30 may

first it was an idea but then a thought and it caught up in some tangled loop: toward word or action? an equal attraction to each, to be sure, but no clue for the weary wandering mind, defined by its uncertainties and tragedies and plainly squeezed puddles muddled over like alphabet soup in a spelling class -- outlast your curiosities and you will be left last -- cast an eye skyward and you'll have heard the bending tendencies to freeze after an age or two -- but steady on -- there's a long time to go before then and when the circuit gets jiggered and switched there's an itch to be scratched that i can't catch the hang of just yet and i'll be there's a better way to feel

29 may

stay and see where the path goes but we all know from the window it's hard to get anywhere -- to take any dare you tease yourself with -- you ease your health bit by breath to catch what's next on a new inhale while the hearty's whale of a stagetop scene means nothing to those ignoring possibility -- it's a chance we see in front of us but much easier to look behind as we've defined our pasts and recast the future with the same poor players who've had their best go when we know there could be more -- could be storerooms of exploration, could be bucket-drenching conversation if the door would just open -- if you'd turn the key the right way because otherwise it's just left

28 may

at some point i started to notice the prevalence of conjunctions in opening positions and i decided at least subconsciously that this must be fine especially as the joining is a clear indication that something has come before which of course it has and i scattered the thought that i ought to be starting with something a little smarter or fresher but no perishing that thought since it's caught my attention again and on more than one occasion but or the rephrasing yet nor so they say and i've given away the ruse we've been cruising past for all this time so i'm just going to say it --

27 may

but in this film there will be an ending and I can feel some sort of irony leaning in close but sure it will be sweet and we will smile so big our eyes will wrinkle and then close and we will filter scenes through our dreams like maps of imaginary islands and hidden kingdoms known only to those who hold the magic words in their mouths carefully so as not to swallow before reaching the right listener

26 may

will have to write that book before i can read it -- meet the pages in stages and taste them before turning -- always the reflection instead of action -- need more focus instead of distraction: what will happen next and when will all the characters change, rearrange their placement to the basement of memory or anyway faraway to not come back another day although rain usually does and the clouds we find above are lovelier than those within (we sink and swim in our own spools twistturn tangling through the swoon that is a lifetime)

25 may

yes sometimes it requires action and even words of the explicit kind -- unwind the waiting and see what's left -- anything on the shelf has a life that's only half if it's radioactive and i don't quite think there's the energy to muster that so scatter the attention to other dimensions deserving and delivering a richer return -- i'll earn my sleep and keep my eyes closed for now

24 may

And one night the train kept going -- to the end of the line and beyond. Nobody wanted to mention that they'd left the tracks behind some time ago because really the view was just now starting to get interesting. They looked up from their laps and their books and distractions and took in the looks and said to each other, "Well, now, this is something, isn't it," and they all agreed it was indeed.

23 may

play it out and see where it lands -- can't stand the landing pages that rattle the cages and trim their sails: fail me not when the tiger balms and we soothe our thoughts with the pineapple we bought for breakfast -- it's a text mess with the words unheard all echoing through the brainpens with the bull stems bucking and a trucking concern from omaha furrowing brows like it's their job

22 may

and if i float away it will have been intentional all along though the current isn't strong as the past sometimes and we're last to define our own futures like the sutures holding our good times together like underwater weather that outlasts the forecasts and counteracts the big splash of television weather with a never-say-rain refrain as all hail sun and wind up the storm to carry out the norms we left on the kitchen counter to toss with the trash or recycle with the flash of recognition when there's nothing but you listening to the numbers by degree

21 may

so then i wrote it all down but still more to say while there's hay to be made and the shade's pressing in -- i have whims and also worries but the hurry is to nowhere, is too late to navigate the time unwinding underfoot -- put your hand in mine and find a fit or fuss with fate deep into the dark as the curtains are pulled -- still fooled by hope i rope myself into these conversations with the stars -- too far away to hear me but i whisper all the same: tame the wandering and tune in to wonder

20 may

worn outside in i'd again like to take this opportunity to change the focus while the crocus springs and the dial tones -- no stone unturned paths and cash in our electric bills for campfires -- we tire our thoughts with unbought goods and shouldbe memes -- a walk in the park for a lark after dark but the legs drag on and the cow never crows -- roses as sweet as any other names blame the gardens for losing their heads

19 may

stacking all the decks we've collected
the nets to see what cards we've
pulled in and no fooling the mirror
if the drink's clearer than mud
under the rug in a basement closet
but don't let that slow you down
when the crown courts
and the hidden pictures --
we will roll over and play
else as our hearts are toasted
a bit darker than we had in mind --

18 may

can't stay out of the fire even when it's better to be frozen and that could be anytime with the rhyme and punishment rushing through the truth to the other side of youth which is oldering and scolding straight on through until morning is over and we have four-leafed into clover although when i see those peaches i know they didn't come or free

17 may

more see than say on the lets'go metro
hula hoop heads home after a day gone in circles
hurry up down rushes the wrong escalator --
feet fleet to foot the bill with no spills
a common comment to share, compare, stare
we are the dreamers of schemes:
we think what we mean
and we say what the play things
ringing round the cultural relevance
the vultures that recompense scenes with captions
the means of adaptation without forced adoption
our crop is planted in manicured lawns
saunas and traumas as summer lands loud
crowding out the air and stirring up the haze
we phase approaches and bench the trenches
don't mention the pronunciation consultation
creep deeper into wonder
into the plunder of gems packed in jams
crammed in yellowbrick nursery rhymes
we do our times in the rattletrap cans
handling intensity: word pictures share the scene for free
breeze by into else and stock the shelf with nuggets

16 may

imagination is intuition given license
or taking it in a fancy flight
right in the face of wrong
skirting a fine line -- poorly defined and definitely shallow
no weight to guessing --
wait no more but explore in any direction
and this is all to say -- today --
i thought i caught -- but yet, i get --
nothing, yes -- an empty mailbox
a quiet phone, an unknocked oor --
is there more still to wait for
or is it too late for?

15 may

it's a blue screen
which can be intense
but the white words
and the steadily rising number
are comforting
in their certainty
their specificity
although no i will not
turn off my computer
even if that's how
this whole thing started
and now at 35%
i take ease
leaning in
the power of addition to grow

14 may

might read these words but they could go unheard anyway
you do not need these lines to stay
they could be gone -- unstrung --
and you'd not be undone
there are one hundred different pages to replace
no right to imagine that you'd keep turning
backward looking forward to something shared
instead blank staring at blank spaces
the chase is off and i am closing my eyes
no way to tell if there's another day
no place to meet by chance or design
stars and stars and darkness
still and already gone

13 may

flustered a cashier today
at first unintentionally
and then it seemed like more on order
nice to create an effect
even if such a shortterm transaction
than you & come again
for sale in the seasonal aisle
it's when i feel the weight of time
looking back, remembering
no count or tally or total surprise
to start and not to continue
now available in efficiency size

12 may

and when i went into the empty room and closed the door behind me i was surprised to find myself alone but after all it's what i had asked for, been looking for all along and my eyes adjusted to the dark and my ears got used to the quiet and maybe it was made up for by better smell or taste or touch but there was nothing to sniff or eat and nobody at all to touch and so really it was hard to tell how it all balanced out after all

11 may

the sensation of smelling and tasting
vanilla velvet cream in the rich cool air of a sacred space
promises of delicacy and satisfaction
and somehow -- walking by
as if soft serve is undeserved
and so unserved and wandering on
with still the feel -- a milky satin cloud
soft on the tongue and heavy with cream
just beyond the glass door of summer
safe in air conditioned splendor
pass by, dream on, know hope

10 may

after all we might have been asking the wrong questions
often of the wrong people at the wrong time
just to drive home the pointlessness
so that even if we do get answers
reliability and validity are in question
to say the very least
the best times are when all is clear
or when mystery is attractive
but if i wrote the full classified ad
SITUATION WANTED
it's hard to imagine anyone circling it
or cutting it out to hang on the fridge
let alone to call and attempt connection
after all it's a thin line to coil
dragged under the door for a secret exchange of self

9 may

way to give a break

could have taken longer than expected

collect yourself and exchange rates

add up the interest and see what it costs

flossing with remembrance

unleash the least bit of nostalgia

what have ya

we are running through the circuit

classes for the circus

now we all are acrobats

now we number our artifacts

these are the drawers full of what we've been storing up

8 may

home of the velvet foam
paco just totally refused
the whole preface was like
NORTH OF HERE
that boat is just coming right at us
no warning whatsoever
like do they not have to work or what
i should run more
how's the shortbread?
can i see your hair?
that smells so good
there's a boy on the other side
what would you call passive sports?
when we had a meeting with daryl a month ago
about the profitability of all these national markets
i'm just going to let them figure themselves out
or you can just hang out here more
but is it made out of jellyfish or just decorated like a jellyfish
but what if it was a bouquet of cupcakes
it's street sushi ferreal
did you want to go back

7 may

may i just say this is a scene in between and the lines are disconnected so the tracks run off into the distance -- the resistance of least triangulated points between angles and the tangle of knowing the difference -- a resistance to covering bases while the chase is on and a strong suspicion that to listen is better no matter the script tripping hummingly from birds and we've heard enough of that today to play off of even as the doves in morning crow over night

6 may

creating space by pressing farther -- out and also in -- reading a book of hiking while flying across the country, i land with a sense of having walked the whole way -- seeing west coast mountains i am struck small and feel another's trail trials as my own achievements -- tired with more than time change and fresh air: I have earned this view, this dark, this space

5 may

all these windows opening up
or are they doors
but nothing coming through but light
or is it dark
driving around to drop off deliveries
but unsure what's being picked up
more rain, please
and the right to sleep through it --
deep and forgetful
cool and archival --
the storage of floods,
the hope of pocketed feathers --
i am waiting for the thunder that will make the difference
for the sky that talks back
let me carry buckets to fill the well
spring deep and fall back
track the lines that graph the charts
and let the numbers softly depart
there is nothing to add up here
only division and subtraction
collapsing in on themselves
in systematic goodbyes

4 may

I keep forgetting to tell you but now: the other day on my way home there was -- at the corner of Wiehle and Baron Cameron -- where there is that park that I think is only sports fields -- in the parking lot, this was -- a guy playing a bagpipe with some solid conviction and also confidence -- and as someone who had to practice the piccolo and also exist peacefully within society with special consideration to my family, I felt sympathetic -- but maybe instead he was showing off to traffic -- maybe it was a punishment or a lost bet or some kind of immersive therapy -- or maybe his kid just had soccer practice and instead of dropping him off and then turning back around to come pick him up he just shrugged and parked and took out his bagpipe like really anyone might in that situation or was it so that I'd write of him later and tell his tale -- the story of Baron Cameron von Wiehle, piper

3 may

and then saw how quiet it could be
instead and how space is different than
waiting -- making the difference out of
leftovers and wrappers -- scrapheaping and
broken bookings with a track that leads
to nowhere and an engine that won't
start --

2 may

and then in the space that opened up
i rolled over and kept rolling
stars and also sandcastle and wind
the waves across the sky and the grass in my hand
streaming down upside alarm bells
chiming in time for alarm to commence
too tense to withdraw the claim
too apologetic for a hair cut
and all the beans are waiting this one out
you should see the lilies of the avenue
trust the fears and the farmers markets
we pocket our dirt and they grow it to else

1 may

tennis court as the rain is starting
first of may warm
a feeling on the tongue, in the teeth
drenched sponges on blackboard
streaky clean in a chalky cloud
swallowing dust in warm rain
taste of base of blank of clean