31 may

i was piling up a pile
and then i stopped
it looked like
there here
better things to do

luckily
i was right

30 may

all i can imagine her ordering
is the space between the items
noticing for the first time
a paper cup sloshing so hot
the cardboard ring would have
    if accepted
transcended branding

small children, of course
airports, always
still: nothing like good fiction to reminder -
    characters in a story
    details in a scene

29 may

hoping that
the pages will not
run out
and also
that i can keep on
reading
as long as i like

the excitement
reminder of creation
set aside
for now
allowing for appreciation

28 may

because creating a space
creates more than geography
beyond the sum of parts
alone but not
spillover, maybe
let's not get carried away
thank you, radio
  public
  parks
  music
  arts
i sing this america
  humanity
  celebration
  community
    too

27 may

spinning lists unfurl
flags of to-do
ta-da-ing
tap-dancing
screens across calendars
hours across america
get done! get done! get done!
unwind tightrhymed spirals
whirling curves lifting and dropped
slicing through meanto and wanted
might have and planned scannedpast
the last rows of plunder
columns as we go -
to-do! ta-da! to-day!

26 may

sure the sun stays longer
and the warm is coming up
but somehow
i'm still heading home in quiet dak
a wider margin maybe
hours more of separation
peeling off - slowmo agogo
ease into the apart of summer
watermelon for one
waiting in the latearrival weeknight
stepped back from shores of golden
  shores of more -
cooling heels and wading out of scene

25 may

i was going to say
something about the traffic
today - afternoon
about everyone all over -
but there are these lives
somehow on my wall
as if scrambled
the traffic of unknown course
a message of directions
routes and constellations
vertical paths
let us all incline to such
above the tangled strands
weaving our own way

24 may

as i find myself
telling the story
it seems
so obviously true
i'm surprised
i haven't
thought of it before
and after all
there might be
as i say it
some truth to it
i am
as it were
the author
(so right)

23 may

when spreading
be sure to be glad of the wake
reflections beyond mirrors
echoes to ache
taking back takebacks
no waste that's worth regret
collect before the recollections build up
why was it that and also
knew better beforehand
learn lessons before morals
creaking the stairs through shouldbe sleep
[you have no power over me]

22 may

nothing settles reality like fiction
step outside for a while
perspective on the plots
wind the lines and know the page will turn
easier to know there are other sides to walk
laps and ruts repeat - but here
you haven't read this life before

21 may

strung together it's easy to see repetition
at the end of most days, common commas
pause before pillow
step back
not backward
reflect
not regret
there are other ways to go
different paths and metaphors
surely more than this

dishwashers rain cheese library
these are the highlights
blurred together
wet on wet watercolors
techniques to avoid closeups

20 may

and if i stay up late enough
my eyes will close on their own
my mind will quiet into dark
fading - anything more is not now -

19 may

so often - it has become -
my dayend poem begins with a conjunction
as if to say yes, to connect to before
the improv of the day: YES AND
although sometimes BUT
rarely OR - too much uncertainty
  (hardly divine sense)
and yet - to pile on -
everything holds the same knotted rope
toddling along to cross the street and fall in line
no matter the matter of grammar or formality

18 may

when you run out of hours
is how you know
it must be time to stop
must close your eyes squeeze tight
turn out the light and done
before the numbers start again

17 may

the point to remember
or at least the moment
is the rainbow that was
if there hadn't been rain
if and if and if
anyway let's remember that
while so many other
wrong angles through different scenes
and the light doesn't work at all
somehow this moment comes through
let's keep that
to come back to

16 may

and the TED i catch a piece of
is about happiness
slices of maslow and of flow
of being so in what you're doing
you lose consciousness of other pieces of reality
happiness in being, in doing
ecstasy was mentioned
and i consider
one third of the way home
how much of my day was spent in ecstasy
it is a strong word
happiness, too, is a strong word
i bought tickets to denmark
one ticket, acually
i ate broccoli cheddar soup
i created laughter out of words
ecstasy is too big
tomorrow i will try a lower rung
every pyramid takes building
every metaphor is a building
we are the architects
i should find and listen to the whole thing
blueprints footprints clues

15 may

but mostly what i learned is
it's okay if some of the sparkles
  get on skin and not nail
and spaghetti sauce is still good
  on egg noodles if that's what you want
sometimes green beans are key
and it's either too hot to eat
or too chilly to go to the park
in a dress
even though putting on pants too
is an option of course it's not
the space created is mostly
the couch the kitchen counter top
the sunny spot on the basement floor
the front porch before the neighbor
girl comes over to say how it is
and yes it is mostly easy to clean up
and manners words and muscles grow
but really it's all right there
there's no need to overlook

14 may

falling behind, maybe
although there is no track to keep
and if switching paths keeps the illusion
of motion of progress of forward
balance of drift>

13 may

friday night nachos
to go
as if TO rather than AWAY APART ALONE
to have and to hold
disbanding prescriptions
turning from suggestions
writing thankyou notes
for support in a failed attempt
as the words give way
falling into dark
            into ticking
            into away

12 may

the later awake, the emptier the stomach
all else dayburned off
away the strong the sense the solid
gone the yes the full the ready
empty i close my eyes to fill
dreams too dark for morning

11 may

was a night that did not end
up and down, stop and start
go and go and go

reflections on the process
the idea of sleep refracted
transactions, itineraries

only some slices of landing juicy
others staler than remembered
absence, the heart, the idea of something more

9 may

how easily it flows
annoyance - a leaky faucet
easily tapped and running
streaming frustration repeated

pauses at immensity
(stop: a mountain
look: now
listen: nothing)

without an upward glance
too easily missed

so much to miss
steady static hums captions
pictures out of focus

8 may

not a score card exactly but
some moments should be more recognized
some people who just get, who join
who expand the experience
  
   plus
   late group man also drifting
   up to board

   plus
   hat box lady returning
   from the derby waiting
   in no group to see off
   her rangy beau

   plus
   toddler niece pealing laughter pearls
   at recognition
   onscreen over distance

   plus
   tall dark man
   following out of the parking garage
   then chats about the challenges
   of crossing the street
   melting fear

subtraction yes or low scores too
must be forgiven perhaps for
not knowing, but come on
do your parts please

minus - stiff front desk receptionists without humor
minus - wrong order providers when this pretzel is my dinner
minus - patronizing, anyone: try again please

7 may

as if there is only so much space
to build share give create open up
to remember and to pile on
something to go, to give, or else
when really there is only so much
that we can never fill
will remember echos, reflections
will build drafts, recipes
will take pictures, hands
will wander blindly anyway
not for lack of roads before

6 may

by the time i have curled into
this shape there is no other
thought but to close my eyes

soon
if i am not already aslee

i will worry into what i didn't finish
today and will probably never
finish and will wonder when it
will be better as well as what
it is as in what it is all
about and why hurt should be
so easy and linger so long and
when i will get back up and
running

but hopefully asleep instead

5 may

and then i decided that today would be the right day to eat that box of macaroni and cheese i'd been holding onto for some months (for whatever reason) because i could go back to feeling bad for myself later but in the meantime i need something positive to connect with - yes there are no answers but noodles and cheese and a can of corn eaten out of a pan in the television twilight is a welcome commercial from the static

4 may

if there's something i could have removed that would make it easier make it hurt less i would be interested because just looking the other way doesn't really do it

i've noticed that some things do get easier with time does not get easier to move along

one of us could leave and that would help and i will take the medicine that numbs my splintered head and we'll try again tomorrow

3 may

looking to deserve sleep
if nothing else
perhaps
above all else
the old wish for tangible success
i pushed this boulder and it moved
i carried that weight a long time
instead
virtual carts loaded and dumped
tracking through the air
paper that isn't
signatures that aren't
creating more what is not real
and yet
the weight
the distance
the exhaustion

2 may

each time
awareness of the pleasure
darkness and rain
cool spring pillow
not a surprise, exactly
a welcomed return
the small pieces i fit into
listen to crickets, peepers
as the air lands  - wide rests between verses

forgive me my acronyms
sleepless calculations
anxiety in tumbleweed
handmedown alarm clocks
overstuffed shuffleboard calendars

and the break breaks
a crack
and thick sliced wet night served once again

1 may

because the caterpillar knows
(it will be in good hands)
it waits outside my apartment door
overnighting patiently for morning rescue
yes, of course, i will
balanced on paper scraps over english muffin
down three flights
cajoled to rainy grass
here is what is good for you
simple enough
but if i knew
straightforward rescue behind which door
would i stretch out waiting overnight?