31 december

Flushing out and setting aside: what will be left? It's quiet -- from a distance, fireworks. This is the safest arrangement. Geese share their update: movement, presumably. Flight and cycles. At this point last year, which step in which migration? Checking the charts. Watched the film -- better than movie. Planned those foods but held back to these. Wondered after these people but kept quiet. Heat came on and plans sketched out. Click, lights, off, onward.

30 december

Try to be a better self, said the mirror, and the clearer the echo, the sharper the chill. No time for reflections on this. Proceed per instructions. Conducting the orchestra of neurons -- the morons in the belfry that freeze up or overheat when their limited seats are overrun with stunning floods of matter that doesn't! Wasn't it astonishing to discover that all of those blunders had solutions in the back of the book? Would you look, if you knew? And whose truth would be there, hidden? We'd written off any ending happy enough to include more than one hero but the zero of this game is sum same to another named in a separate suit. Love by any other name may still come calling and I will fall into the well myself -- another deep subject from which I have yet to escape.

29 december

Make space, make peace -- there's room enough for every possibility. the expansive canvas of fiction that is reality lets us design our own colors and numbers and there are never any lines by designs we haven't in mind ourselves. Our healths and our fortunes, our paths and our circumstances -- the navigations past frustrations and through degrees: these are the trees we climb and verses that rhyme, or the thrillers that flop at the nevemind box office and the romances never really screened. So it seems: we tell our dreams of ourselves as we toast our healths and happiness and clap our hands on it -- as if to shake the stories into real by a firm grip and a nod. This is the now that will be next. I write it, I say it, it is.

28 december

and if it were all up to you, after all, what would you do? how would you handle it? stay or go? keep or give away? when choosing your own adventure, do you keep a finger in the decision page, just in case you come to the wrong conclusion? jumping with one foot at a time means moving much more slowly -- how far can you get to if you're still holding on to the starting gate? let me tell you -- it's much wilder to see the power in your own hands. what to do with it other than toss it hot potato away?

27 december

ask for less and hope for more -- balance a challenge and the cheer to spread -- let us sing of skies and other better angles: we are our own worst curtain calls -- i meant to leave out the dark meet but the chill ran through -- personally is the only way to hear to feel t be -- rise up and reach out -- tell me what you feel

26 december

because time is arbitrary and we cannot trust ourselves to toast the healths of others past our own expiry dates we must wait and be counted wanting every once in a reasonwhy wonderhow -- cowering is senseless and there is no cause for fear: nothing others could invent is worse than what we can imagine -- stand-ins and disregard keep pace, chasing heavy overdoses of the real, reeling back and in and sinking to swim and evening out the odds to call in the cattle before they roost and all the hens come home for the storm -- there will be rain tonight

25 december

to remember: there will be more downs but also better to keep alert for ups! cup your hands and your heart together to draw in the better - the flush of chill flares and the toxic not twists -- sorry for the missed chance -- the stance suggests a test be passed while the last cattle call out the numbers and the blunders and the chance to dance encounters -- where are all the doubters when we're sure of such cold dark? warm the breeze with gentle words and heat the heart with other melodies leaning out of tune

24 december

and somehow there becomes a new reality -- splitscreen and the scene develops beyond what the forecast called for -- and I'm all for the sound of new and the how we do getting redone but I'm spun completely -- a word discreetly whispered and I'm counterjacked from the old track onto new -- it's a few days beyond where I thought I'd got to and too many miles from expected to count -- but more than that: my heart is transported and everything else is ordered and disordered in its own new time -- a new rhyme to our rhythm and a new meter now to matter

23 december

Although saltwater does not create an altogether tasteful taste, it is a wonder how it can perform when flushed at a high speed through the absence of a tooth and the cleansing that results is altogether pleasing indeed -- although to detail the procedure or the unstuck muck would be unseemly indeed -- let us agree that we are pleased by moving past this stage and we appreciate the advice even as we marvel at the many adaptations we have wandered into and developed best practices regarding -- sure in the knowledge that it's all been done before and someone has prepared a brochure to help things along by now.

22 december

First you should research innovative and then you should plan to make plans. In other words: the absurd unheard of and shuffled off like mortal coils above decks to Buffalo -- newfallen snow and a goose that sings tangled up in golden rings... I'll take down all the decorations -- hang up some non-English patience and reorienteer a bit -- not steering to quitting but earnestly admitting I do it the hard way and the cards stay just out of reach -- to seek and not to find, when combined with a standalone destiny, gives the density of a spoiled outlook. Books and papers and miles before sleep: there ought to be some other hopetruth to keep.

21 december

In fact when I think about it, the sound's no doubt -- it would be better to touch feathers with a sound track that flies me through than the mild reproof that rebounds the inner grounds brewing up my organs and my genes meaning well but genuinely reflecting and genuflecting in the service of considered meaning and also of the meaning of service -- to deserve this goodness or to give up the cup that overflows and pass it on -- to fail the bond measure and heap the treasure that cheapens leisure when you just live in the house that jack built -- it's a spilt wind that blows no cream and it's a hungry locomotive that leaves no steam -- forgive me all my tresspasses and let me off the hook -- I'll make it after dinner if there's something you can cook --

20 december

now might be the time to stop myself -- to adopt myself a new angle -- untangle the ties that really don't bind that tight after all -- that call that was answered might have been a wrong number anyway -- stay on your feet and keep moving -- holding the door open but no knocking -- waiting for a call but nothing like talking -- polite nods and curtain rods keep everything in place -- chase something else instead awhile -- line up different sights --

19 december

and in the space there were a few key lines i left out -- words to say but better heard up close -- and so they do appear in this scene -- although the replies and each layer seem to be shuffling about in my mind as if i'd already fallen the sky in turn -- as if the learned behavior could be forgotten -- hot enough to trot but the ice pack cools and the numbing brings back the sense

18 december

balance in all things, we're told, but holding on to which and letting go of else -- to shelve some and refresh other bits is to start in fits -- the dream of knowing how to flow between letting go and holding on -- strong enough i can get by without but real enough to know how hard that is -- don't look for answers you don't want to question -- don't try harder than you'll regret -- catch on and up sooner rather than never -- leave the inspirational track for some other venue -- i have a menu to choose from but make questionable choices -- a catalog of options but sold by silent chairs of voices -- these are not the words you're looking for -- meant to be alone -- front porch was a rolling stone -- built myself a wrecking ball -- forward's still the only way to fall

17 december

once upon a time some years ago and another thing i meant to say can you see your way to giving me a piece of your mind your manners and darn your sock it to 'em but sink or swim on your own two feet per yard if it's hard enough to handle then turn the key to success as an outcome all ye faithful old and reliable like they used to say again and once more into the breach out of reach and beyond the pale king the rider and the horse with no name

16 december

when there is something to be said i will try to get it out -- here for now i have nothing -- i would prefer to keep moving forward toward progress -- and yet -- missing is made out of this -- the space where once there was -- now the emptiness aching -- dreams of else to do -- otherwise i'd run farther, write wider, spread love across a biscuit and be done with all the rest

15 december

but to compete you have to play and sometimes it's better to step back -- i have something to say here but there are too many better things to do -- while i am open to the weather changing, rearranging patterns for the scattered benefits of nonsense recompense is a hopped fence away from jumping too far to carve out time for -- and i'd certainly explore the opportunity to build up my immunity but for now it's nothing to sneeze at and i'll freeze that thought in its tracks while attacking some other half track collapses before it's whole

14 december

and even if i could open my mouth further i'm not sure what i'd say -- weak in any number of ways, but a different corner to turn -- hard to read a map undrawn -- all the pieces scattered latitudinally -- we free ourselves and toast our healths -- the smell of something burning -- the taste we still cannot rinse out - how much can you wonder?

13 december

do what needs to be done and the day will never end -- there is a heart touch here and it's recharging -- go on -- even as the oddest things pop up -- popping around as a traded commodity: what will who get in return -- where is sustainability left behind -- where is the wind that weakens the way -- what's up ahead that's yet to be built -- keep all the cards and copies in pockets, or toss up in tickertape some kind of parade -- somebody somewhere must be celebrating --

12 december

I do faint sometimes -- is one thing you might want to know -- although on this occasion, I have been informed that I will be just fine -- there being no need to pass out -- and as it was passed on to me in such a matter of fact way -- for what other way could there be -- I had nothing to do but pass through without incident -- and this passes, too, I was told -- although it could have been said better.

11 december

somehow if you can turn your attention a little to the left -- meaning not right there, but leftovers there are not that big a deal right? -- focus in on what matters -- and if you're not sure what that is, then you might start there anyway -- so many nails to snag on -- so many holes to trip into -- i had a few thoughts to list as reminders for the next time this came up but now i see they are worth forgetting -- you have your own rewards in mind -- don't listen to this -- don't reach out to that -- and who's to say we're stepping right -- or left -- and anyway, i'm too behind to tell

10 december

It's fair to say I have a few ideas of how things might go from here on but it's likely for the best that it's not entirely up to me -- but you're too kind to say so -- and I insist -- I'll resist the urge to plan too far or too close and I'll toast the possibilities instead of sinking roots too deep: the ties that bind will always keep.

9 december

Whenever the sun comes up -- and if it does, we will make note to be pleased and appreciative -- there will be so much to be done but for now there is only dark and warm and the space between comfort and sleep to ease into and through.

8 december

And when we reached the time of burrowing, there was concern -- a furrowing, even, of brows, as if they themselves were heavily laden with the snow that might someday fall, if such a trend were to continue. But also, deeper into a few of the faces, somewhere in the eyes, there could be seen a kind of relief -- a sort of satisfaction that now other things could be cast aside to focus instead inward on the important matters -- heat, full bellies, comfort -- no matter what other matters might arise.

7 december

It's 24 minutes to be seen at the emergency room -- would you rather be seen somewhere else? Consider instead a right-left double-check before before you cross. The light changes, the season, the year, the mood. Channel on to glances, spaces, pauses, looks, and dramatic wonder. How long can we go on with only angles to lead us -- eye to eye, turn aside, away -- the look that opens, closes, repeats.

6 december

In another draft it is nice to note the hero works at kindness -- or is it work? It seems so natural. The smile is real and the messages have meaning -- there is no need for subterfuge. All the clouds play their part and move along. Remember how much softer it is to touch goodness -- to see it in the mirror? Clear to the hero, to the readers: we seed our dreams with better realities. We feed our days with brighter lines -- the light, the words, the way.

5 december

So I kept making plans and all the tangled webs kept up with the spiders -- weaving and looming and otherwise thickening the plot that is the fabric that is the story of our lives -- and let me tell you there is commercial appeal but to steal home and leave the other bases wanting is a daunting task enough -- let's bluff the morning and ease on along through dusk -- can't trust the rodeo to pull it all together but them's the breaks and also there's the gas

4 december

the right thing to say -- if only -- sorry to hear how hard -- nothing to be done about -- the doubts of words and also sense -- to mention is to calculate -- the weight that states its own country in the title -- let me try again -- all the scores and seven -- the concentration of assurance -- the bewilderment of others and also of self -- let me know when there's an answer -- I'll be ready to take notes -- a remote chance -- dance with clouds loud enough for all the sky to hear

3 december

To speak of a season is too big -- even a day is long. Imagine the explosion of time that is an entire life -- how can we quantify the wonder of whatif and where all the why will wander into how. Let me look at this minute and let me try to get this right, at least. And already finish soon -- was the difference made? Charting the course is one course but following it is the exam -- and the next course is in failing, and exiting, and merging, and other turns instead, across universes of maps still unseen. Let me feel this step, this now, and I will be right with me.

2 december

And if I say we have the opposite sameness I mean we are each alone in our own scenes and while it remains to be seen how the hands play out it seems sometimes like the deck is stacked although whether for or against is uncertain.

1 december

And when I returned to think of other things I found the pen was dry and also I was thirsty - or was it the other way around? I kept going past the end of the page and there were no lines to follow, no space to color within. It was unclear when I would be told more and so I knew to keep making it up as I had been doing and soon I could not tell the difference between space and time and color and sound. It was a hard row to column and the navigation seemed unsteady, but I knew something would become of everything I had seen and found and built from tiny boxes on graph paper stacked up to make metrics - to skip rope and mark time. On the door frame you can see the record keeping and all the spinning that has lifted me up through the years but instead of checking and measuring and marking some more, now it's time to go through.