31 august

and also you should know i have a more right here and another right there almost in the center there of my back - just so you know - and i am not so fond of licorice - in case you were wondering - but i do enjoy both coffee and tea, thank you, in case you might ask - and if i had a million dollars i would give it to my family, in case that comes up - and i have a dentist appointment next week (it's thursday at 2, if you want the details) - and i'd rather give the world water than coke - i'd get my next degree in TESOL - and i do have a bit of an ache in my lower back, but mostly when i wake up and get out of bed --- and i really appreciate you asking, or thinking of asking, and anyway, just thought i'd go ahead and share

30 august

something about effort and here i am talking about raw material for something but really this main piece i want to get out is how much energy it can be to go in one direction and in some cases when you turn around it's possible to just float

29 august

lake water stalls thought -- laps up collapsing contemplation -- creation of paradigms to shift even before the frontpage ink is dry -- no headlines to be shared out loud -- unproud and knowing how this works -- or jerked though intersections of space and time to rewind every line -- to mine for information in each sentence, conversation -- step back -- paddle out into calmer quiet -- there is no need for deep -- there is more time to sleep -- stall out and watch the stars carve centuries instead of seconds -- a caught breath and a troubled sigh will die on those lips, be eclipsed by something new, and true tales be told: that story won't be old before its replaced by another disgrace of how-could why-would mystery of humanity -- we the undersigned and the undefined next pledge to hedge bets -- or not -- to be caught in what we ought and to disregard all else --

28 august

even as i plan to set the clock the talk is strong but the head breaks on impact -- counteracting sunshine that unwinds in easy doses of subtle power for hours at a time -- no crime in the skies but that still rises even in the dark as i park to seek conclusions -- instead a rough confusion of blame seeking and recordkeeping -- why the squeezing pressure and the measured treasure of day rearranged in this way with means and intent fully bent on a harder path to follow -- all the wild cannon balls -- all the cues to flail and fall as the night comes up -- stuck in the brain with the strains of some uncertain record on repeat -- slapping a groove and landing in disorder -- call off the shots and top off the eyes as the curtains come down -- the warning sounds for future efforts: sun might shine but its rays are sharp --

27 august

i.
airport as universe
arrivals and departures
making connections
missing connections
passing sideways through the slipstream
looking forward, down, past
always there is somewhere else to be
always someone else to blame
someone else to rush toward

ii.
time of the essence -- or not
waiting: meditation, expectation, frustration
the space between
and yet here
dearly beloved strangers
gathered together to celebrate
anything but this

(no moralizing, please --
perhaps a magazine?)

26 august

as a quick update
now there is no update
the air has expired and the water is stale
thought to mention yesterday --
but today, better to wait
once the hurry-up is overboard
nothing left to say

darkest day of the week
turning into space

25 august

priorities a sneeze and a half on the Richter graph is not to scale while the flail is always to the west and the sun is to the east while the feast flames out and the creek won't rise up on the rooftop of the morning glory in the highest rated blockbuster of all time and temperature is rising tide lifts all boats a float to shore things people say can you see to believe in love makes you do funny things

24 august

halfway to elsewhere
the script is unfinished
why we play the game
and other variations

shopping around for dreams
extremes and weather patterns
a scattered patch of education
incidental conversation
travel and documents
turning one corner or skipping the next
a collection of chances
steps -- but no dances

square shoulders, circle around, try angles:
in the end it's one line only --
forward, onward, on

23 august

misfits and tidbits that keep the gears going
a flow unceasing, catch not releasing
not to wonder why, but to do
step aside
hit enter
again
creating a new line
blank
cursor flashing
impatience impertinent
there are no plans
there is only this and it's mostly passed
already today is gone
hit enter again
how it was meant to go
we here highly declare
score and seven ago
we the people
hit enter
to begin again
every second
every second word
a cleared throat and I am reset
a smile and uplifted
there is no map to follow
just -- the wind blows
keep the window open
only the sky catches the kite

22 august

speaking of else
shelves to be re-sorted
notes of last resort
- we are having ravioli and we like it -
there are messages that are not clear
feedback we give back
counterattacks we subtract
growth is a thing that echoes
tripping thoughts down the mindhall
whatif whatif whatif
and there is no reason why not
no age is too expensive
no cost is yet too old
go -- create -- expand --
and let the rest slip clean away

21 august

creating the space
out of notecards and painter's tape
markers and post-its
physical artifacts give sensation of reality
facts you can touch
this is a word is a letter is a sound
my mouth when I say it
your ear as you hear
here I am building
there is a piece
peace wider than any blueprint
sense deeper than any list

20 august

it is sometimes helpful
to say: look
this is the lesson that I learned

it's easy to explain
why it is important
not to repeat
how to avoid, sometimes
shake head, gesture
why oh why oh why did I
ever think that was a good
idea but at least now I know

a good enough performance
it can be said
has been seen to create reality
or at least
in more cases
a psychic muscle memory
a dull ache -- some say a sharp stab --
as the same mistake is repeated

why oh why oh why

now this time, with feeling
this time, I mean it

19 august

constructive
as if made of blocks
though the build to be building
hardly a goal that scores
storing up means not using
a full charge and nowhere to go
tank is packed and tickets expired
it's a long way to nowhere
but plenty of seats are free
convenience fees are not discussed
not many passengers
building something, to your left
check the guidebook, see what's right
travel over day or under night to see
how the other half gives
up their seats
for a trip to a look at something else
is it better? drop a line
turn the car around again --
how will we know when we're there?

18 august

it's a pie with too many pieces
maybe overserved?
undeserving, maybe
but the filling is falling out of reach
peaches too plentiful
  heaven-sent and full of cliche
  though the pits are long gone
on the front lawn we wait
imagining an official will arrive
collecting the excess
addressing the toomuch
and yet
still no one is coming
the sky has turned to stars
maybe it's time to breathe again
maybe the pie is ours

17 august

mostly the thing to appreciate
is being thought of
a shared sensation, sentiment enveloped
no map collapsing to pinpoint synapses
HERE is where I knew
THIS is when it was clear
an offer to open and to welcome
I have prepared this room for you
this space to indulge, construct, create
who knew it was built until it was occupied?

16 august

let me tell you how i ought to react then retract and substitute with reality - the free and unreasonable exchange of insecurity for hurriedly exiting logic - a freeze on both sides of the same coin and no effort to join with or resolve - this is a riddle i'd rather not solve - a storm that clenches together and will not break into rain - no relief but turn away and divert the flow to see how long the hold will last

15 august

more like static than a spark
heightened awareness, the rising
color in cheeks, the buzz
silent hum internal
catch - echo - return
no parry, trust --
trust, exchange
volume up, the dials turned
miles earned against transport
the passport a poor sort of measure
treasure the leisure:
no moment comes unmapped
raise the tide to trim a sail
flailing through the evergreen undergrades
all the lessons over again
and yet --
scan the dial --
some new infrequency --
how such lightning in it --
drink in and drive deep
bold comfort in quiet joining:
no match to miss --
strike deep, hold fast

14 august

deviation from explanation -- an expectation of calm amid calamity -- the time the trees tell when the breeze smells of seasons beyond our calendar -- the way the words work when the pages jerk from our hands from the newspaper stands like some headlines paying high fines for low crimes and cheap rhymes because no time like the present tense is peaceful enough for keeping -- sleeping cellars never keep watched and lying tigers never stay locked with one eye open and a mighty fine gal -- sixteen years on the Erie canal is shallow enough to float in when the sink swims to the shore -- when the band cries out for more but the people can't remember the tune -- when the size and the shape of the moon are piano keys and a calamine solution -- cigarettes and sharp regrets to break the ice before its freeze

13 august

draining
excess from my head
drawing out the toomuch
- light - sound - noise -
no - yes - why -
brush back wild sharpness
- worry - pain - fear -
stabbing
toss away the tangled metaphors
break in dark to heal

12 august

it may be
my eyes deceive me
falling from the sky
darting - raw angles
stars in tangled pursuit of nothing
streaking past reason

11 august

what I mean is thank you
although what I ask is WHY?
as the sun rises higher, brighter
time spreads wider a few golden moments
the mirror offers no clarity
uncertainty why the rain stopped
further analysis should show --

patient on a park bench
no newspaper or umbrella
you smile -- I'm still perplexed

10 august

after some time the sum rhymes with an unknown total and the alarming result triggers a hiccup of circuitry -- which is to say I fall and then gravity falls to function -- there is no rise -- cries from the gallery and mirror looks or wisewrit books offer no remedy -- the trembling trends toward eyelids, bitten lip -- let it pass without altering any other orbit -- set the sun down safely -- breathe the deep and blow it out -- smoother seas to sail

9 august

boomerang orangutangy orange juice up and sloshing down -- back again to the deep knee bends of undependable priorities -- the more we freeze our hopes in place the less the stars fill outer space -- create your own -- collect all twelve -- the cadillac of inconsistencies swerves grandly on an avenue bordered with salvation and heartlorn renderings of the future mightbes -- wristwatch collectivists take the risks and give us their seconds -- still I cannot hold a hand

8 august

scrambled eggs for dinner and nobody's got the blues
shuffle through the parking lot to five and dime each drivethrough opportunity
I am growing older than this day - waiting for the clock to strike straight and play its cards left-handed
let us rescue our missions impossible and humble our heartlands, for the makers are at odds and the jacks are suddenwild
let me take the grocery list, common sense and heartache -
sign the package deal to ride avocado alimony
crickets make their case
and we are all alone again

7 august

prioritizing
horizontal or otherwise
leaves something to be desired
read: completion
preferred: deletion
to get through the woods to grandmother's house
to shift the steps of some celestial staircase
(this way, universe)
rarely requires clean dishes, folded laundry, stocked shelves
and yet
in the meantime
while the stars align
it wouldn't hurt to cross off a few
if I could muster the requisite relevance

6 august

the patience
I've noticed
is hard to wait for
sometimes

other times
it shows right up
nothing to worry about
rain after too much sun
melting away the else

/anyway
what else was there?

5 august

my fault
but the date reflects
as I collect myself
anyway I remember now
how this sorts out
let's not anyway
say -- so -- see and saw/imbalance

4 august

rereading the transcript
your honor
I would like the court to remember
to court
is not to remember
ways means sense sensibility
passion is fashionable
logic preposterous
distressing tends toward deeper ends
splashing about, no boat in sight
a grain of sand to surface
might throw the machine
were we to imagine automatic action
something more than attraction at work
work not at cataloging
not taping the ticker
including the total lest we
find less than sum--
find instead the whole and jump in

3 august

all the pieces
I think
from any angle --
but I'm getting ahead --

2 august

spin too fast
(it's all relative, perspective)
(though who can relate, see)
all those angles tangle too easily
the crosses stitch eyes together and dot tease
run wild to break and mistake identities
you be the one and I'll be the othersame
which one did you say again
how to see the what to do
when to push the universe
rattles shaking in our roles
forces magnetizing polar schemes
chilly like reception in a spicy dish
pepper with forgiveness
all in all, we do our best to undo
forgetting how to renew again again again again

1 august

as a reminder
the mirror
balances
in kind -- sometimes not kindly --
stepping back off track to counteract distraction
some attraction misplaced, replacing distaste for lost race
losing on and on and on
adding up to subtraction
and while there are no powers that be
no multipliers no exponential growth
at least division
let me not carry
pass over and erase
chase obstacles and find them still
there is no apology sorry enough for auction
learn the keep of counsel
only stones to overturn, to carry
alone a choice
divide the space
kick the remainder and keep the right of way