29 february

and if i say i got it
it's because i don't
but i'd rather fake it til
and on the other side
i will have it all figure
answers served up fresh
pancakes for everyone
no carbs to bother
no heads to shake
no bottom to fall out

28 february

even unmatched sticks can spark when it's dry enough and dark enough and there are only stars for miles and it's nobody's fault if the light isn't bright enough to last long but it can push back the cold and crackle the silence warm even just for a few bright moments

27 february

laundry my tired shadows
echos of the days gone
and again curled up to dark
rest turning around and over
tumbling through confusion
dreams and doors and unertainty
hanging up and pressing to clear
does nothing but recrod
re-wear yesterday and it's still fresh
remember when you thought you got
that spot out thought you were
over it could get through
another load, another try

(of course it's me)

26 february

although knowing what's on the distant page does not tell you whether it's the last the point is missed in a certain lack of knowledge as to how many pages still remain prior and, of course, if any at all are worth reading rather than flipping through or past on the way to predicates

25 february

again i have picked up the book
bread and butter
chocolate milk and ice cream
whatever appeals and also orange juice
hard enough to care to keep going
why bother when there's nowhere to get to
working for the weekend when it's whythen
and yet sometimes something in the chair
fresh air and clouds unexamined
eyes closed and still closed

24 february

but i do mind
is what i'm saying
and i cannot help minding
cannot help minding
that you can't seem to
be bothered to mind
which bothers me
and onward
back under the covers
and into the dark
not-quite-quiet enough

23 february

but to carry means
muscles strain
give it all away
leaves to wonder
how so heavy

22 february

- when setting my alarm tells me i have 8 hours and 20 minutes before it goes off

- when i took my laptop back out of my bag and put it back on to my desk top

- when i did nothing but stare and eat while the last episode of the xfiles was on - for who knows how long ever will be -

21 february

vacations in napland
because where else could i get to
wet hair and the bathroom fan still on
window open because pseudo spring
ran as if enough but at least outside
frustration at the broken gym lock not too much
overcome but still okay to eat
the nap though sandwiched in the middle
two hours splitting weekend into
bonus round - thanks to all the
else that made it possible

20 february

today i thought about making
things but instead i ate some
things and i talked and i drove
and i thought a lot and i talked
some more and i wrote a bit
and i listened and i watched
and i thought about and i
wondered but no making even
up my mind as if that
were so simple either

19 february

keep books beside my bed
but also stay up as late
as i can so my eyes will
shut right away and so
the books stay put

let me build a project
sign yo a story
there are angels in the
angles and we are all
far flung afield
let me keep the answers
underpillow and winterstale
laundry waiting for the break
diner booked at a different angle
let me check the socks to go
carry on and carry out -
we are all our own best hopes

18 february

to create culture and also to get out of the way - to say goodbye at the same time trying to build stability up - please the players and lose the game and the aim is too precious to measure - up treasure our focus but the hocus pocuses and all is up in smoke

17 february

and if that's what it took then it might be better to wait outside - other options may still be available if anyone else dials in - no one is standing by operators are on call if someone wants cut up - not to have or hold, no breath and not to breathe - cut out all the rotten parts and let me know if there is anything left

16 february

there are other things i'm better at -- a collection

the tendency of poets
toward metaphor

the overanalytical reader
to escape but nowhere else to go

but returning to the conversation
discovering

reminds it's been abandoned

15 february

but also there are numerous indicators like signs i mean like neon more or less or barbed wire fence and you would think the point would come across danger danger and other run-on allusions in unpunctuated madness - landgrabbing the ankles of dozens of desperate opportunities and pressing re-wrapped lollipops into their pockets - locked and stopped like hat tricks suffering static cling like alarm clocks that forget to ring and all the curls come out to play with straight and narrow run away

14 february

for example
finding - i should say discovering-
that i did buy baked beans
after all
matching my baked potato
that much more rewarding
this is something to hold on to
laugh that falls out of my mouth
not earned with clever effort
but there it goes anyway
a race finished
enough to say
struggles, philosophy, impossible questions
sleepless nights and stomachs
and yet
spoon of leftover sourcream
thrum of fallasleep dishwasher
snow in the maybeso forecast
nothing and no one to answer

13 february

and the greatest gift of these is words / even as i find i fail flailingly more and more / the store i stock / putting locks and barrels in study carrels / there are a few of my favorite things / no diamond rings to tie me up / sign deliver this seal with words real enough to clap at / to draw the trap in / swim merrily and the month of may / stay sweet executioner: would you like something to read? / a child's christmas in tales / failures in the over-making - withdraw to alternate script

12 february

struggling even now to beat
back the melodrama
i can see clearly as if from
a future chapter how futile
to struggle how pointless to
hope and wonder after how
timewasting to be sad after
what can't have been and yet
even as it repeats variations
upon interludes scenes
upon verses stanzas bending
genres and the whole sad
expectation caving in again -
doomed to repeat and still
sad enough to hope for

11 february

usually i can
well i'm glad i said something at least
but now i am
overthinking wondering why
tired of flailing words without landing
windmills that don't stick to metaphors
acres of legacy words in anachronistic hope
chivalry will spring from a vacuum
clarity will focus by itself
grind the grit from the lens
tired of firing myself
wondering who else to hire

10 february

and all that's going is muscle soon it will be hard to stand no one will notice but the trend will be toward the floor lighter when all you eat are cheese balls and cotton candy and weaker when all you have to stand on are feet

9 february

honestly i'm just making it up now it's better when we're making it up together at least it's not so dark at least -- more than least

8 february

please test by searching
find the gaps but don't mind them
mine them and i will bore through
the ore into something unsparkling
and significant magnificent in
its closefistedness and in the bliss
that gets caught in our chests as
we all gasp to see what's there we
open our hands to nothing

7 february

but if i had mashed potatoes more often
and also slept in occasionally
took days off and vacations - real breaks -
if i could keep regular schedules for eating
for drinking water and enough of it
having everything else in lace -
but everything is made
of everythng
job family good place
money water clthes time
matter matters
what we create is all we have

6 february

maybe an hour later
or two it was while
picking up and readying
out the library,
it suddenly occured
to me - not the other kind
of occurrence, although
if this had been brewing
all along i certainly
had not been able to tell -
     is this why there's twitter?
after my joke to the confused man
for whom the librarian had indicated
the science fiction section when he'd
clearly been looking for physics had
fallen flat - really? anyone?

5 february

and yet somehow the
catch is not up the fall
is still over and
time runs only out while
boughs break, cradles
fall - stand on your feet
and return to the crawl


*essays unnecessary*

- someone moved that
rubber band that was
on the steps

- having something to say to
the stranger while opening
the door

- expertise in short exchanges w/
strangers - of the non-social variety

4 february

accidental rock song
hummed air in a rental car
passing Dinosaur Land again
the fourth time -
 still only pictures that don't turn out
hashbrowns for breakfast,
 fruit from out back
an unlikely collection of signs
strands of interwoven unreasonables
no headache, please
 hotel coffee and
 windows down
just me myself and i
 solo riding

3 february

far enough away to split my head and hope stuffing a fluffy white duvet in the jagged gapes will fix it and yet the place is familiar enough - the clerk dreams of tennessee someday - i know the gauze won't hold

2 february

on the subject of tomorrow
i am turning in to the wall
and there is very little space between
in and to as if i am become wall
somehow this does not alarm me
rather solidifies my sense of calm
a stubborn terror, fear in the place of running

1 february

and if we go out to eat
let's say breakfast maybe
brunch or even just coffee
although tea will also fit the bill
will it be enough to cover the bases
the way this is going
there is plenty to explain
away or not the way we've got to go
forward onward upward ut
call the whole thing off quits it
i know you've got and
i bet you know while
any day now runs off with the show
just a cup of coffee and
a few kind words
that ought to earn another -
what, more?