31 may

it takes a long time
for some reason
for me to turn the air on
paying overwhelming phone bill
too-high price for cable
more clothes than i need
convenience food
intending-to-inspire Y membership
organic pre-peeled vacuum-packed and boiled beets
the difference will be made
somehow
sweating equals saving

30 may

although i could keep my eyes open
could keep turning pages
the list for tomorrow grows longer
each new minute i lie here
i lay here
i worry over verbs here
still i am awake

29 may

tonight
one of those times
i could have read something
i could have written something else
rather than slumping
into bad posture
into humid dark of late spring living room
tomorrow
is another

28 may

the thing about wanting
to have it both ways
is mostly a thing about not getting it
getting it wrong, mostly
you don't know what you've got
or you know but you answer the wrong way

i had some ideas
mostly about how it would be
most of those ideas
came from nowhere and returned
some of those ideas
i came true

27 may

harrier carrier
tripping over terriers
landing on the ferriers
paying on arrival
safer shores to land

let me paint a maybe
hold your breath and say please
let us have our own guess
towels to toss in

26 may

to appreciate
requires perspective
stepping back to take in

being caught
leaning backward

tasting the fall
tasting the possible

[and if you could anything
what would you]

25 may

even a long walk can take you
somewhere else
there is nowhere to go
no rush to get there
but when i come back
i find
i am more alone than i left

defense is easier
rationalizing how and why
instead offensive
stumbling around, upsetting the balance

a recipe i wrote?

headaches all around
flying too high, far
sunburned wings

24 may

and if
when i wake up
i notice the space
and stretch to fill it
i know
this is not the only option
and yet
this is the space i have built
alone at a table of couples
hanging up
rather than dialing
a process
relearning the words the steps
shrugging off the tooheavy
drifting away from the path

23 may

plans
usually take longer
than
their notdoing

22 may

having accomplished
            over most of a day
more or less what i'd hoped for
setting goals - new goals
same as the old goals -
seems a little more
run and yoga and salad and cereal
work early leave early
call and write and clean up
budget and record and measure
don't say it if it's not right
                                  necessary
                                  kind

21 may

another point i notice:
how far away what's close can seem
the grocery store once you're in pajamas
socks in the other room
the remote

too easy
should be easier

20 may

i have heard this story before
but mentioning this would be
let me say
i know the right words
infrequently

19 may

when the good luck charm
brand new and shiny
broke
ripped links
as i took it from the package
i had the feeling
or was it days later
anyway
i should have known
just as every story
known to its end
is easily told

18 may

and while i was adding up
the subtraction kept pace
until i hardly knew what to take what to give
nothing to leave on the table - that was certain
slowly even the recipes seemed to change
whether for lack of ingredients
changing palate
fear of the mundane
who could say
what blind pedestrian dare question math
the science of appetite rejection
serving the undeserving and the just
different ends of the same bowl

17 may

ready to be better i am
tired of the sleeping wakeful
we are open but closed and the
answers are not coming forth
the questions are pouring
wish i was better at being
awake and taking advantage
we are forward but mostly backward
i would apologize but
the confession is too much work
i am sorry for being sorry and also
it's who i am and i will try
another day

16 may

if i could do better
know i would
see the better next page

closing the door
i turn to the street
darkness means any path

15 may

tomorrow when i wake up i will have
the answer to everything
and also coffee
i will overcome low expecations
moving forward past stillness
beyond reason and also worry
fear at being tripped
by my own feet own self own senses

yes i am a burden
dogs do cry at night
fox on the sidewalk
walk in the fog
light as we all take our turns

14 may

and yet i find
conjunctions are not enough
i cannot begin a sentence that way
except to say
BUT then it was over
BUT then i walked away
it seems that AND is too much
even OR offers too much possibility
BUT it's better this way
BUT you will be better off
BUT i'm not sorry for all that was
turning past the line break
serving a different sentence

13 may

and if i hang up
and there was more today
imagine tomorrow
enough time
the right words
circumstances not beyond control
the dark and also stars

12 may

but the wind comes
to both
the grass and the leaves
no one has an answer to the wind
blowing night
sucking in stars
the blinds bang back, forth
windowsill, aloe withstands
patio dimplomacy
folding chairs unfolded
pots deployed
dark to all
morning to follow
nature to answer to sleep

11 may

tomorrow is a better day to start
maybe early, set a new alarm
or
well
cool pillow and lat night
after work would work
but
well
such a long day
treat and time and fill back up
feet up, roll over
tomorrow is a better day to start

10 may

afterward
it's easier to see
all the pieces that don't fit together
running a tongue over loose teeth
jagged breaks, empty sockets
smiling anyway
tasting the space in between
sleeping off
wandering through wonder

8 may

when the heat goes up, the cold does, too
overcompensate, navigate, complain
we will counter nature
and also terror
and whatever else we want, really
recycling

to claim an item left behind>

in cahoots with the suits we leave behind
rewinding circumstance until we find just the moment
edit down and crop and crop



feeling the color mustard sun dandelion smear
here and tomorrow and most of the next day
waiting for my turn but also turning over

7 may

the good kind of waiting
better than arrival delivery certainty
possibly
still
why we play the game
why bookies book
why different chefs cook different recipes
ready for the soon, lingering in the now
picking out ingredients
packing up suitcases
tickets to ride
curtains to hide behind or fling wide
dears both ways
departure, arrival
receive, send
floating with light in between

6 may

in the meantime i will keep walking
there are other paths but somehow
i feel like there will be more time
more chances to retrace and turn right instead
infinite options up for adoption
next time i will turn left
will stay in school forever and pile high the books
will marry young and have so many children
will move to Alaska and focus on fishing
will publish every book i've written
will find faith and trust in its guidance
will go out every night with so many friends
will give all of what i have to those in greater need
will barbeque and wave the flag
will balance on one hand and a mantra
all these and more
a willow web of paths
breezeblown and readywaiting
all the time and more

5 may

easily digestible vegetable
a too-tall uhaul
clocket
reverse curve
chains dragging down from the bridge
low lower dip
everybody down

4 may

originality repeated
a conceit innocent of conceit
maybe i twisted my ankle
tomorrow i will write something reportable
remark upon weather
observations both surface true and deep real
we are not our parents
wait until the curtain calls
tonight again a bike to nowhere
climb back on the horse
worth celebrating and stepping back from
the mirror also gets a say
sleeping with the window wide
warm enough for a full moon
clouds too dark to mind

3 may

birthday presents
past
future there are reflections only
forecast of the blast past
a recipe of uncertainty

no answer from some angles
no tangles from the clouds
weak signals and otherwise schedules

heart falls as the floor comes up
otherwise nevermind switchup

yours until the page turns
another moon to rise

2 may

way out and up over
skies surprising and stars rise
wait until the avalanche
catch the tigers as they tail
lions sleep through hourgrasses
toddlers under picnic tables
weigh the while and come in handy
yours are the arms i would like to hold
close to the sky and far from the ice
picture the day as you ride

1 may

let me see
say speak word wise
to the tune of what i want to hear
listen first and second
read between the lines
but also read the lines
here the abstract counteracts the facts
now you know less
messing sense from truth
squeezing out the juice
the loose tooth wiggle with an overactive tongue
hung under a sign giving no sign
no semblance of the concrete
discrete and tangible
so easily unmanageable
when in the course of human events
and other tides to turn
other accuracy to burn
bridges and empires collapsing in abstraction
seeking traction in the details
flailing and failing
turning a deaf eye
waiting for the rescue of colors of numbers
hungering for texture for a mixture of truths
cocktail of neverfail flavors
clouds waver, sky bleeds on