31 march

turning instead onto the second floor
the air was wrong - burnt and heavy
moist, on the near side of dark
pizza too tired for the oven or freezer
otherwise, the same paint, same doors
streaks of errant furniture in slight variation
what's not different is the same
fresh crisp night cool air behind

30 march

you could tell my story in chocolate milk
love and also calcium
thick glass bottles in refrigerated cases
latenight stirred syrup almost quietly enough
post-run to be described later in detail
cheers clinked and mustached lips
afterthoughts - straight lines
draw the portrait streaky clean
eggs and watermelon
chocolate milk and - something else
the color green and in between the lines:
strands enough to land on
catch me as i fall - again, again, again

29 march

anyway by that time it all rushes back
why i said no and why i had to turn away
green streaks and mean streets and turning off again

this time will be otherwise
this time i am standing in, standing out
watching for the whatif

there is no living from the bleachers
shots missed and feet tripped
all we can do is watch

a prayer to self to step in
to grow and not to close
play the game before it's over

28 march

because sometimes it's a compliment
a willingness to accept possibility may be required
listening for the catch is not listening
another shoe to drop even while both are on the ground
nightlights suggest uncertain sleeps and wakes
turn to full dark and the sun will look bright brighter still
morning to come if it will

27 march

and if i had thought you'd call
i would have been disappointed
instead
disappointment in advance
spreads, thickens to confirmation
of course not - because, why would?

apart from that
the plans to dream the shape to shift
melts away the rest
shrugs off couls
too thick caught too long

26 march

if needed i could turn on and delivery quickly
no breaks or rest or sandwiches
let's keep moving
let's develop
pushing past set hours and arbitrary deadlines
it is only 5 because you think that means something
otherwise
i am onward upward
i am exploding past a line undrawn
crossing bridges not yet build
when i know i have arrived it will be over
keep keeping on
frozen pizza and empty parking lots
give me space and i will fill

25 march

but if my eyes weren't already closed
i would know
it was time to shut off up out
wait until the time has passed
trip over opportunity and swing for the shoelaces
banana peels reveal the angels in our architecture
seen from the ground up as we slipslide down

24 march

because exploding is also a release
hard to control, yes
embarrassing, depending
productive, maybe not
still, out there and gone
nobody needs that to carry
sleep as the ash filters down

23 march

because letting go is easier
wave and wish for the best
all the else that might have been
melting away in a rainbow's breath
clouds are just clouds and rain is just wet
i have nothing to offer but myself
excuse myself
a different table, different menu
good luck and wave away

22 march

because i don't want to spell out
the rest of this story
with letters we've used before
although yes i love recycling
and all those other green things
i am tired and i would rather not rehash
all the static with so few scenes between
tuning in and out of doubt
salvation of a second try
a third and yet again
all the reasons no
and yet
why don't i hang up

21 march

the lead singer's girlfriend
skin but mostly bones
devoted and adoring
rocks and taps and nods along
zooming in on her iphone
nearly four feet from her subject
horizontal, vertical, shake shake shake
afterward he wraps his arms around her
at home, they will watch the earthquaking video
yes he will say that's how it was
she will say you were wonderful again

20 march

because saying what you mean
might sound mean
if you mean what you say
however
how does anyone
you know
connect
it's a miracle that conversation
i am interrupting myself to say
this latebreaking news -
i am about to do better

turning off is not a turn-on
walking away does not affirm
there'd be days like this, my mama said

instead
late office baked potato friday night
dreaming of coffee and comics
the space i have sleeping alone

19 march

meanwhile
nearly impossible to avoid
wishing for a snow day
no matter your age or work
the uplift of whatif
gently as it falls

18 march

no limit on the other end of time
bright colors and light and invention!
let us allow ourselves
release the tense and bench the growl
disgust we must be done with
only better than ourselves
we are no better than we are
let me tell you how i'd like to be remembered
 - then and now -
let me explain what i was going for
it's a picture i could paint
but to pull off...

17 march

it was about then that i realized
i would rather be sleeping
it would be better if i didn't say
but even if
at least
anyway
i put on heavy socks and climbed into bed
too late for taking back
too late to unsee, unsay
ask - give back
not to wonder why
windy as the dark, loud as night thoughts

16 march

not exactly a lookingglass step
but certainly an overthere
elsewhere on the otherside map
tuning a station i thought was static
angles in the architecture
stars grown underwater
wait and someone takes your coat
sit and ask the window closer
the unexamined notwithstanding
a catalog of thought

15 march

took the extra blanket off - slipped out from in between
warmed by weekend and also sun
a tiny girl in pink-toed mismatched socks
yoga in a studio cloudy with space
coffee in no hurry and chai with a moustache
comics and cereal
Murder She Wrote caesar salad
remembering plastic bag recycling
tickets bought and bills paid
friends caught up and afterhiding seeking
a message for answering, questions without rush
thanks and orange juice and fresh enough for more

14 march

it's a holiday even if you don't celebrate
if every day was your birthday
how could you tell
and
you would be old!
all the tickets are for sale and some are free
catch the plane by the tail and pin it on the donkey
belong to nothing noone nowhere
pick up and leave your bags
ready to take off the flight the train the go
headlights in the rearview
nobody needs a map

13 march

peanut butter on graham crackers
grapefruit juice in bed
multiple choice and choose your own adventure
the greater the investment -
take my chances
extra pillow and birthday present book
overanalysis underfed
work better on a team: follow these 72 simple steps
listen more than talk
sit up in your posture
grow ahead and try

12 march

turning toward is either a slipslide into
or a careful picking of each tiny inch
i have been on this path before and yet
certain i will miss something
i am keeping my head down
studying the shadows as i squint to keep out light

11 march

and when i cannot hold my tongue
i let the words slide
avalanche of maybelater
tripping out to overwhelm
never sorry i said
overprone to overanalysis
rather i knew
rather it was put out there
sweep it under the rug
shrug
either any way
i know
i have given
and no answer
takes that away

10 march

as the world spits back time
spinning right round
recording all the static
beats per minute per life per hour
nothing to be missed
resolutions a step away behind apart
let's reset on tuesday
starting fresh on thursday
what i mean to say is
easy to slip by

9 march

turns out to be the case that it's open
hope is not a strategy but forward movement is
step into the box or onto the box
stand and deliver
quiver
full of arrows pointing every which way
fire at will

8 march

stretch strive stride
forward

all of the repetition excuse delays
set aside

7 march

resolving to make resolutions
as if solutions work by naming them
if you don't know the question
how wrong the answer is doesn't matter
tomorrow i will start another phase
raising the bar
dropping the baton
no one else to pass off to
the picture that i take myself
of myself
develops myself

6 march

yes there were tickets avalable
but instead it was dark
by the time i stopped outside
no one was waiting to miss me
dinner too late and regret for dessert
but still the calm of quiet
pillow blanket velvetrich dark
where else to turn to but sleep

5 march

when i realize i'm not sure what i eat exactly
friends and colleagues who worry when we go out
"that they'll have something you eat"
my student who softened her peers to yoga
gently explaining "there are people who eat only light
and i imagine
this is what i should serve
myself
the simplest menu with no looking down
dinner fo rone
a snap to set the table
but no one else to ask
balance dishes or eat from a pan
the one-pot meal of campfire fame
pizza fondue when we tired of mountain pies
the mythical dream team summer
basketball in the AC basement
finedining breakfast of cornfkales with sugar
tasting the space
waking up to possibilities
mine is the wonderwhy diner
stool at the counter when it's past dinner time
eggs and a milkshake
grilled cheese and cocoa
what would i even serve
hardly an invitation - given or received
two placemats - one a placeholder
sometimes dreams and sometimes dessert
frozen yogurt for lunch
vegetables wilting into regret - the fridge, the counter
a week without a dishwashing
one spoon, one water glass
banana peels in uncomical repose
invitation notwithstanding, there is nothing much to serve
diner alone shrugs at the menu
spreads a napkin, waits

4 march

waiting for the snow
for the rainy dark and jagged day
to smooth over
bright light and wipe away dreams
sanding the rough edges
a blanker shade of space
open waiting wide
goodbye to all the question wonder
the rollover worries that blow through thought
wind in the ears and tired eyes
hope after others to fade
closing and turning away
otherwise mornings to come
white as the freshness of empty

3 march

it's a small box
once you step inside
tucking up the flaps
roofing up the top
the wind gets in the cracks
the light pokes through the holes
until you fix it cram it pack it
safe in a snug tight space
dark in an airless box

2 march

instead of asking
knowing the answer is NO
etter spend that time
energy
effort
turning the dial to YES
not by pushing pleading angsty drama
show not tell -
as any good story is written -
a preponderance of evidence
stacking up to WHAT ELSE COULD THERE BE
laughing i would toss my head
catch it again, continue to bowl over

1 march

and in the end
quietly forward
no waiting for
hoping against
leaning into
setting prepositional phrases up for takedown
even as snow falls
as pace crawls
there is somewhere to go
ears open eyes show the way