27 november

No Dancing Saturday

The clock on my dresser, like so many items in my household, is a Goodwill special. Really, the ratio of thrift store to Ikea would make an interesting study. For someone. Interested in such studies.

Anyway.

The outer frame of the clock is white plastic, about a six- by six-inch square. The face is orange – not burnt, and not macaroni. Somewhere around ‘retro kitchen’, or ‘exactly the front panel of the dresser drawers’. It’s uncanny. White numbers. White knobs on the top and sides corresponding with four flippy-faced panel. Two of these panels, appearing down the right side of the face, are simple enough – date and day. Today, for example, although it actually says TUE 19, it should say SAT 23. The thing is, see, you have to change it manually, hence the knobs. Shouldn’t it be automatic? I’d think so. But I’m from now. I’m wondering if I’m just guessing it’s broken because of the difference in when it’s from and when I’m from. After all, it has knobs… and I have hands. In my day, I was the remote! (No, I’ve never said that. But I did just read a blog post by one of my colleagues in which she indicates that she loves saying this to her nephew. Note: No plans to say this to my niece.)

The other two flippy panels, across the forehead of the clock face, currently read NO DANCING. And, actually, though there are knobs on the top of the clock that might appear to adjust these panels – something like horns or antennae – it doesn’t seem likely that I’ll ever be able to see the other panels. They appear to be stuck in this position – a permanent message to me.

So, what’s the message?

You’ll note that I’m still in bed, uncertain about moving, while I’m considering this. Don’t rush into anything!

NO DANCING

So, I don’t dance, true. Already mentioned. I’m awkward, and I don’t love showing that off to people. Well. In some ways, but not in dancing.

Therefore, the clock is telling me, yep, another day when you’re not dancing… just keeping track over here, you know? All these days, and you’re not dancing…

Or the clock is mean. No dancing! Don’t be an idiot – you don’t know what you’re doing, and people will see you. Don’t take risks!

Why would anyone purchase a clock with such an uncertain and potentially rude message?

Well, I love it. It’s vintage. And it matches my dresser. Perfectly.

So? What’s on your dresser?