20 september

i miss you too

and what that means
anyone's guess
life full up
not for lack of effort
made case
clear
still
struggling to regain balance
wondering back to a time
balanced
no emptiness to tip the scale
who is the why
every breath
cycle

tell me what you need to say

14 september

morning
many decisions
listening responding
part of something else
bigger
challenge
early and late and relativity in spades
pledged our parts
opened doors to explore
waiting for a mention
question
outreach
connections
instead corrections
adjustments

brighter suns to fade
set and bet against the tide
no one wants a rescue

truth in all its incarnations
uniting nations
dividing loves and tongues and strung-along believers
deceivers and hopefuls
blew the whistle too soon
grooming the minutes for acceptance
denial still easier
turning away from longing

play games, stay the same - nothing sense to tame

12 september

a tall tall ship and a star to sail her by

what else do people what? need?
to get out of life?
to leave behind?

vision of a coffin in the cool windy shadow of rain
covered in flowers
surrounded by family

how much to give
sometimes hoping to receive
getting too little
at least to be satisfied

trying to be true and kind
also to myself

bluffing the listener
twisting the sense

how to rearrange the molecules
fool memory
plainly see not what is there

7 september

process dark in the darkness
roll over
slight splash
morning

active waiting

lowering hope
like a tent pole

watch the clouds to stars

lonely with memories

6 september

emptiness of a weekend
no arms outstretched
finding space open up
unsure where from
growing
between good nights
morning
what may come
tired of being in last place
unhealthy habits to break
feeling of being wanted
replaced
burden, inconvenience, slowing

without holding my breath

smell of pancakes from someone else's window

and yet and yet and yet

no sign, evidence
polite reply

people i will never know
deleted
downgraded
out

drawn the curtains
certain concens
un-earned anxiety

too many pages spent
dial instead to OPEN

5 september

the angle at which i will have my hair cut
will remove the ends
split in all degrees of indecision
redirect my reflection
looking not at what is not
when the balance is of
nothing left to do but lean
all i see is me
continuing to ask

i will not do this for long
drift apart
until touch no longer leaves me
raw confused disappointed

somewhere to grow
drop the unnecessary
open up to else
take care to care

26 august

it's an empty feeling - sadness only when i press down, anger only when i twist like this - no idea of next - turning away, though, from wallowing - the shades and shadows cast on everything else - the tightly booked calendar - cannot be resolved so easily - a wait-and-see attitude - how can - how can

quiet is the way i' reaching out - listening for to learn - where are the places we ought to replace here or should i be walking away - a hollow feeling - the backer backing away - nothing else to think about - everything returns to point at this point -

nobody to hold my hand down the street - episodes are ending - new season uncertain - breathe and sleep - take a shower, wash it off

25 august

not easy
at least said
the release
the breathing out
no sense of next
toss turningly
page through suggestions

i am not afraid of being alone

everything into hyperbole
always

all the king's horses
all the king's men
take five
take ten
why not put it back again?

so many flashlights
so many complains abut the dark

24 august

ate long-awaited watermelon without pleasure
too heavy to appreciate cool sweet crisp
leaving behind juice, even walls thick with red
seedless pursuit, sleepless night
deep breathing fail to calm

the absurdity of energy
spent and sent
an unreturned direction
earned concern
burning lips and dismissing hopes

anecdotes
little bits of nothing
crocheted into cover
cool responses to warm overtures

the softwarm i'd returned to
now turned away
there was never any space for me
chill of morning unresolved

23 august

new notebooks
the consideration thereof
how we know that's not the point
all the horses and all the men
multilingual parking lot
shouting out for forgotten coolers
wayward hats
toward picnics, goodbyes
summer time is closing
a dream i had last night
putting everything in order
can't remember what was out
waking up with a headache
earn the right to sleep through night
subconscious mumblings

is there a better way to?
why am i still?
think of me at all?
fringe of possibility
sadness from this angle
show i'm now subscribing to
worth changing the channel from
evidence of whynot
fade away instead

keep the channel open
pick up plan and bring along
wrap myself with care

22 august

i would keep going
i would throw all in
leave the conference room behind
toast the health of more sacred beliefs
better yet, the wind
grow dirt in some accidental corners
enough to grow from else
furthering of the self
pieces that have scattered
everything we thought that mattered
and the winding of the sheets
streets that lead to nowhere
cavalcade of spades

leaders and their circumstances
making up the steps to dances
once they saw on tv

small airports and uniforms
landing where we weren't before
stepping into wonder

trialed and found wanting
keep ideas a-flowing
stopped from going
crash, fall and dash as the banks get overdrawn
weeds all take the lawn
bursting out to flowers
hours stolen back
tracking down the answers
looking for the clues

retorts are for the weary
while the stronger get it done
call the knife and cut the cord
drop and give me everything you have
until you drop
tried and warned my overthoughts
-- those are not the shoes i bought --
easing into seasons filled with sense of moving on
strong enough to make believe
cut the cord and take the cake and we'll go out for dinner

21 august

for my own protection
am i redirected
this senseless press
styles filed away under vogue or irrelevant
trash in the outhouse and outlaws in the kitchen
twitch and see: the word is good
wild enough for vegetables
the truck will take the cart horse out for dinner
no charm is foul
too much is also rough
stuff the shirt, hang the fruitpies

try me a riverbed and see how i sleep
deep in the pockets of a hundred rocks
talk is cheap when the reaper's not grim
sink swimmingly as the dinner party downloads

playing the fool and also the king
plead insanity
when calamity comes for dinner
thinner than an albatross and twice at least as tall

more than a glitch of coincidental engineering
fearing the steering will give out, we bring our doubts
steer bluffs to all the right listeners
twisting blurs the disregard
all the cards are stacked
we are the traps we set ourselves
we are the first person plural
mind full of disregard
too allaround to focus on
crows and feet and ceiling wax
smoothing out the overhead

19 august

doesn't cost as much as the practice
atlas shrugs
tugs at heartstrings
resounding pings and pulls in
just a few lines
to go on is just that
back in the squeaky seat
no one here is self-conscious
(let me tell you all about it)
no staying
the execution of continuity
exit promptly to start
the flow of oxygen
all along the hurryup
the fascination of the runway
(we are number one for departure)
listen:
brewing takes time
but i am pressing it french
find out i am too deep in it
no score being kept
depending on the seat belt

18 august

no time like the present
and also
no time for the present
moving past and shuffling by
the sky and also the cloud-based solutions
looking forward to looking forward
never to being still
present
on a mission to miss nothing
while missing everything
tourists trample
on the way to the gift shop
face first into unrehearsed territory
we are the spears
we are the targets
we are the ones
who will get there first

16 august

please and thank you and sit back
(roll my eyes for making work use of this exercise)
i would like to know what people really thought
should we worry
twist in my left calf i cannot explain
pull in the back of my right arm
pain talk, nightly ritual of childhood pre-sleep
is it important to you?
avoid people going over time?
everything to be all-inclusive
need to need to need to
decline one offer, wait for another
the cooldark rest of television
monkey waiting in the wings
reading the comics and clearing the table
veggie bacon and no mistakes
need need need
the list stands alone

14 august

no lamp in my writing room
somewhat telling
strategies to fall back asleep/plans pile for making the most
found time
press of excess
metaphors for keynote remarks
we can all look up more
disparate shapes and sizes
do we learn to juggle?
look over your shoulder or keep looking forward
liquidity, balance
it's not a competition
it's a practice
take care/take care/take care

13 august

get done the bare bones work
i am taking care
somewhat indignant
if there was no, would you?
club the country:
a humpty and a dumpty and a question i can't answer
no ink in my printer
sleeping in the knife box
some other sort of twist
moving on
all along the wonderwhy
throwing away plants
the chase to the weary
not following the rules we set ourselves
the please and thank you that tank you
leaving and grieving for all who have gone
to weather the whether or not
do we pushed past what's allowed
given an allowance?

12 august

expanse to be covered
expensive only in time
stability of standing firm
true enough to scuff a shoe
wait until the curtain calls
fill out the script / twitch of a prescription half unlearned
earned our bread but not the butter
hide ourselves within shelves of ingredients
waiting for something to be made of us
(i cannot not sleep/all the weary worries wearing)
a slapdish dance and a covered wish
all in the house that jack built
surprise and thighs and disappointment
(mirror is the only real audience)
legs are tired
have done no work to earn
all those side angles nobody's handling anyway

11 august

the underaffectionate phrase
subtracts so much --
not worth holding my breath
why it bothers / why i want more
bed where i could never replace a cat
space could never be my own
no solution to dissolve into
(all hooks and no sinkers)
catching trees and fantasies
(D it my S)
wandering to wonder after the space
tonguing the space where an incisor used to
anyway anyway anyway
more interesting than the sum of all i lack
how can we know how the wear will be spent
amalgamation of hopes at passing
(so easily i tune back to the same station!)

10 august

a disturbing dream
overthoughts of overwork
what such radio silence undoubtedly portends
wakeup alarm reshuffled
and where is this monkey now?
notes on the back of a drivinghome index card
i fail to list two hands full
clock keeps ticking
turn away to something else
cooler air and grayer sky
rich wide moments left
let loose creativity
the work of works, of nests, of young
flitting thoughts -- birds again --
glistening world of academia
the splendor of writing, of igniting --
STRETCH
consider the shift
a thought experiment
to carry with
the next exercise to come