22 december

tired of manners of matters of having nothing to mind and minding everything -- to bring the end up sooner is to dial in the disappointment -- we sent ourselves packing from the first step off the train but the main thing is the play and to stay offstage for so long brings on the certainty that the lines are not meant for me and i freeze the accounting of ever amounting to something but i've one thing left to do and that is sleep --