20 november

Montana really loved to meditate. The calm, the quiet, the space... And yet, she had the sneaking suspicion, always, that she was doing it wrong. This, clearly, was one of the reasons that she needed to meditate in the first place. Think about what happened when she did yoga. She really really enjoyed yoga, even all that touchy-feely higher level thinking stuff, what with candles and smells and your inner and outer whatever... It's not like she believed all that stuff, but it was nice to have the time to spend with a group of like-minded people engaged in some kind of pursuit that was healthy. It's not like she was about to do Zumba or something like that, let's just be honest. But what started to happen is she noticed the other people, and they seemed to be so blissful, so flexible, and so farther along than she was that it started to get to her. She tried to do poses with her eyes closed, but this became a challenge for her balance. She even spoke to a teacher once about it, Cheryl, but Cheryl had very little to say on the subject of how not to be so self judgy. Really, she had a lot to say, but Montana wasn't buying any of it. Who's the best in the class? How can I be the best in the class? Why am I not more flexible? How can I be more flexible? Is everyone else in this class just naturally better than me? Do I have any hope at all of being halfway decent at this? Cheryl seem to be rather flummoxed, it might be said. Montana seemed disappointed. She kept going to yoga, sometimes, anyway, but she felt herself drawn more deeply to the classes that involved meditation. After all, if you're just sitting there with your eyes closed in the first place, how can you see if other people are doing better or worse than you? The answer, and she would later figure it out, is that you can just feel it. All of those other people, nestling nicely in the right sit bone posture all of their extra layers tux around in a way so they can have deep contact with the Earth, all of those people... They were so so good at this, right? It was impossible to disagree. She wasn't sure where to go with this. So, she kept going, be it slightly less often than before. Montana really loved to meditate. Mostly.