struggling even now to beat
back the melodrama
i can see clearly as if from
a future chapter how futile
to struggle how pointless to
hope and wonder after how
timewasting to be sad after
what can't have been and yet
even as it repeats variations
upon interludes scenes
upon verses stanzas bending
genres and the whole sad
expectation caving in again -
doomed to repeat and still
sad enough to hope for
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