all the while i am wondering how to get out of this and also why i feel the need to consider escape which makes me wonder where i would be escaping to anyway as if there is such a space without worry or need to balance or fear of disappointing self or others or really if anything more could be asked for than a wakeup that brings no concerns following that brief blissful second of alighting consciousness --
today while driving i suddenly came to and had no idea where i was or how i had ended up there one second and then two maybe three it was at least before i found a trigger point to drop the pieces back into place and i could continue on into a recognizable reality --
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