9 august

i.
the words taste wrong as they leave this mouth and meet eyes closing as the sounds form thoughts
apologies for freezing warmth in cold darkness the park full of someone else's party
noises of a chair scraping backward escaping from the table
unable to participate any further today
why dig when finding doesn't help
why find when building needs all the energy
unsteady as a fawn's tangled back legs
awkward as an eggplant packed for lunch
how to be not the right one and know it and not know what to say
in the way along the road
stuck at an exit ramp but no gas for the turn
merging dissolving
and other subtle notes

ii.
i'd like to go away a while
and find what's left to feel
once time has passed and you have gone
fishing for what is real