28 february

and when it's the end it's surprising to see all the space that can appear when you turn away -- and it's not at all surprising to see a sudden rush of other fill in the gaping suck of nothing -- busting at the seams with potential then a tent full of camping that forgot how things are ordered with the fire under the pillow and the constellations underfoot -- roast the dreams and marsh the mellow -- no easier way there to sail ahead, sliding through dark like a slice

27 february

even though my plate was full there was still more to go and i ate and spoke and more being brought every minute -- to begin with there was no end and to fend for oneself with a fork and a course to pass would be a grade too low to deliver with the shivers and the applesauce, the curtains and the old ring toss when nobody wants to get tied down -- when all of the world is a sad clown laughing at the same joke you're much too clever to understand

26 february

remember what it was like to have all the answers -- to be matched in stripes and dots and confidence -- there are always more questions to ask and also reasons why we can sometimes just wander in wonder -- the sky, the water -- but now the dishwasher is making its opinions known very clearly even if there are no words to note down -- the sounds of careful consideration of finding wanting, of trying to clean up, of pausing short to let it all go

25 february

easier to swing toward all or nothing-- the balance is a challenge, even as the sun heats and the snow falls-- wind winding it's way through barometers and other kinds of gauges sages haven't even built yet -- the easy debt of words and the heavier weight of wanting -- better to walk away and see what comes to follow, to meet from some unknown direction

24 february

now is the only time to do but still there is a space that echoes and i have nothing real to fill it with but marbles for my mouth with fear of breaking teeth -- -- -- give me instead a dream of flying with nowhere better to go and i will get there as soon as i can if not before

23 february

an exercise of stillness even though the motions are going through themselves on their own accordion keys -- wheezing in and out of time, up and down the notes with remote chances of landing someplace unexpected: collecting all the wrecks and piling up what's next as the stepping stones to mobile homes and stable jobs that cobble together unfortunate weather with rainyday luck and truck all the rest of the deals out to dry

22 february

In exercise B you need to cross out the verb and replace it with a better verb from the bank. I am walking around to help in case anyone has a question about the directions or about the vocabulary (or really about anything because we are always practicing our conversation skills and they already know what I did this weekend and how old I am and how many languages I speak). The first example is done already in number one, make it crossed out and go is written in the blank to the right. I walk around and nod and smile. These might be the biggest smiles in my week. When I see M struggling with finding the right word for number four, I review his answers. He has crossed out go, which is the answer the book gives as an example for number one. He has written in run, which the book thinks is the answer for number four. M knows better. He makes the answers right. It is the confidence that inflates this smile. Go. Run.