justwrite 7 august

Meanwhile the scores are being counted meanwhile I meant well but when my mouth opened a frown fell out meanwhile I am treading water and also sunlight the mosquitoes and stubbed toes meanwhile I am surprising no one with my inability to rest quietly meanwhile I am having a rest meanwhile I am enjoying the nature meanwhile the nature of man is not the nature of woman meanwhile women are naturally strong without asterisks the commercial tells me just a period meanwhile they do not mean to be funny meanwhile the cool kids are clinking drinks and making names out of colors and sounds meanwhile the hour is happy and everyone plays with different pieces but the same game meanwhile I have lost the board meanwhile I have locked my fingers in my ears and I cannot hear to keep up meanwhile my tongue is made of felt and the answers cleverly construed cannot be delivered meanwhile I have sharpened my mind and it has melted on the afternoon sidewalk meanwhile I am good at washing dishes and am considering this as a career possibility meanwhile I am remembering being told about being stifled by too many options meanwhile the same stifling can happen with too few options meanwhile I am up for adopting new means of transportation meanwhile the station is moving and no one has any tickets meanwhile I have lost the handdrawn map and my world is collapsing into passenger seats meanwhile I am contracting my abs and I am feeling it yes the muscles are responding appropriately though the longterm effect is unclear meanwhile I am bleary with inaction meanwhile I am thinking about the book I will write in November and wondering why it is so far away meanwhile I have no idea where I will be in November and if I myself will be so far away meanwhile I have an idea for this book meanwhile I am wondering if it’s my sixth and will any of them ever actually be published meanwhile I am moving on and my fingers are too slow for my head even when it aches as if I have to spell out every shape with slow determination and think it into consistency meanwhile the book will be about that dearest of countries to me other than my own meanwhile people will be wondering why I think I have something to say and why they need to listen meanwhile the book will be for people who don’t need to learn it will be funny but not comedic and clever but not overstated meanwhile it’s a good idea

justwrite 5 august

While I am making a list of to-do there are goings-on and other hyphenated situations birthdays and out-of-sorts purported-to-be-concluded resolutions I am the step before the last I am the one who will build you up and when you are ready to settle to meddle in something stronger for keeps the weeps are off the sweep is across the board around the table and under the tree I’m tired of well okay I’m tired of odd wheeling I’m the extra angle and there’s plenty to cover the proof if you add and subtract and counteract the throwing-off that I’ve done and the turning-around that’s gone on then it’s easy enough to say the game has played itself out I’m doubting the otherwise and whether it could be it seems to be that this is how it’s looking this is now what’s cooking from the recipe the ingredients the expedience with which I’ve ushered in certainty it’s not hurting me to forecast such clouds and I’ve allowed plenty of confusion to color the scene all beyond the lines all the simple times cast aside and hidden in pride I am looking for a one-bedroom and I am planning on the futon the future on the end table is balanced by a book the composition less glistening than a dewy fresh fruit of your choice the moist deliciousness reflected in the zoom-ed up closeness and the hocus with the pokeness leads to more whatnow wonderings and the plunderings of such self-deprecating dreams leads back to the scenes of the artists we imagined with lightbulbs on strings and cans of beans we would have matching headboards though the red crushed velvet from the thrift store on the edge of town and we would live as if anyone could be watching and moved at any time yes those are the chosen the colorful the bright spots in the general haze and yes we would be known we would be living in the past and future again and vaguely blurring out the present in the bare bulb glow and the sparks of proximity

justwrite 3 august

At odds at cross purposes I’m thrown off by the news that isn’t in my paper isn’t by my breakfast I’m stalling here I’m falling clear and free and easy does it into the recycling bin I’m thinking thin and thawing hot a mess of tendons yanked in no direction the corrections are unclear and the fear steers itself it’s not a problem to be alone there are plenty of thoughts to scatter toward that end and while the other loose ones get tied up the scuttle is but the end the means the screensavers slaving away over displays unappreciated hardly thought that through I know but when you see the dust swept away the metaphor crumble crumble you were saying when the confidence is all around and the mirror turns off there’s no reason not to stride forward unless of course you’re facing the wrong way and who’s to say and who’s to know I’ll blow hot and cold in this sort of an idiom a cliché a collocation and the reservations are under some other name laying claim to some other famous sort the way we all purport to know what’s going on to sing the reasoned songs I have written the notes the permission slips yes she may leave early yes she may wait outside during those awkward parts the greetings start and we’re all lost unless turned on in the right mode we easy-explode into the proper role enthusiastic and pleasant and really just quite friendly the perfect ambassador the representative and give me your applause I will stand and cheer as well and if I fell down it would only be a while before I rolled maybe under the bed maybe under the table waiting until things worked themselves out as they have a way of doing but really the brewing is a process too and it’s hard to guess you will take care of it for me as we can plainly see you my dear reader perhaps do not exist which is a path of thought I’d rather not travel down at this hour but anyway I’m sure you can see your own way out

justwrite 2 august

Though in the middle of the search it does occur to me that I’m not sure what I’m looking for which is sure to make the looking harder and the finding even more difficult I’ve spelled out various searches an incantation of Boolean magic and or not otherwise would I have it and as luck would strike as evidence compiles itself I am in search of further clarification there are results and there are plenty but what is the experience I have and what is it good for yes for what can my education be redeemed and my knowledge often seems rather in the correct direction but as if my attention had been drawn aside by some other situation the conversations turned and I earned less than what might be helpful here the way is clear is forward is yes and the answer is already set though the spinning in these searches pushes me to rehearse the gracious acceptance I’m sure to offer in response to an offer that surely will come although at the moment being quite a proponent of myself even I must say I’m not too sure which way the swaying will lead and if indeed I’ll be making such a speech I’ll be rambling out of reach in the direction of certainty oh yes I’d be pleased to find it and remind it to stick around when possible the plausible is so hard to sort out sometimes reading between the crimes of misspent worry and vaguely hopeful suggestion the mere mention of a match-up is quite enough to rile the coals and incite the wonderings-if as I polish a potential resume in my mental carousel of pages I’m reaching the stage where even just showing up feels like it ought to be quite good enough but yes it’s true the effort is hardly there as I wait as I space my wonders with new potential blunders please to recommend me please to help defend my hireability against all comers you won’t regret it and when I get it that is a job I’ll be glad to thank you further

justwrite 31 july

As we puff up our own upper crust and compliment each other yes it becomes clear so plain to see the words we are saying are true yes we are skilled and yes we have our moments and there are many of those there are mountains and we climb them there are words and we can rhyme them sometimes like now we have hiccups and our flow is a little off we scoff normally at such unnimble typing like hyping thimble writing as if it made sense as if the fence crossed no borders and the sorted warders are looking out for their own particular flocks we are locked into battle and the cattle don’t call like they used to we’re through few and many stages of raging against machines but the scenes remain to be and we yes we are the conquerors of lists and the missed opportunities are minimal we’re spinning full and fast curves around the corners and water under the bridges of any other county we’re bounty hunters and we’re getting things done no gold medals won but the to-do lists ta-done and all we’re stunned to find on our resumes plays out pretty smoothly the grooved beats on a percussed record sets up pressure to stream on dynamically I’m sending out some wonders and you wander as you go and you gaggle with the flow of a thousand tired birds waving and weaving their flighty paths through maps neither googled nor explorable by conventional means and so it seems we’ll wrap today as long as the hiccups continue I’m sorry I had hoped for something more from these moments but exercise of the fingers lingers in my mind as time well spent

justwrite 29 july

There is a pause I’ve been feeling a breath held back the space waiting for me to begin again I am telling the stories aloud and they are falling all over I am repeating myself I am toasting the health of all welcomers and well-wishers we are well and we are deeply grateful while these waters run swiftly soon we cannot swim fast enough and again they slow and we float the moments flip up click by and the digital display model is out of date it’s late to return to tell you about the beginning of the end but perhaps there is no end because the next beginning is slurred and not staccato not punctuated or abbreviated but perhaps extended when it begins I will know and I will make note the note will be whole and will sound out like a goal scored and other options ignored but in the sage sort of way that means having been considered and found wanting not roundly haunting all the other options seeking out adoption of parallel possibilities as the freezing snow turns to blazing heated debate staying up late to search for next and the text scrolls into itself slipping through the margins and beyond we are unsure of what comes after or what might be called before if we knew what this space was for we meaning I could use it better and the weather wouldn’t matter I would grab what seemed of value and fashion it into the next big thing ringing bells and yelling with flare of the extravagant sort yes I have found the way and it is the right one!

justquick 22 july

the good news is that i'll be back soon and when i am we'll have a lot to talk through the news the weather and the dependent clauses just hanging in there to see which way the wind will turn we'll earn our daily breakfasts by hesitating just long enough before no enough to allow maybe though not so bold as yes we're testing the limits but there's plenty more to run through before the tide turns tired