justwrite 12 june

Let me tell you what I noticed let me say that the way downtown when it’s not raining is brighter and better and the pride in faces and all over the place is more clear the morning after a won game it’s the same on any continent I’d be content to have a few answers but for now I’ll stick with questions I am teaching but the lessons are the ones I need myself I am unqualified but for what I’m doing now and it’s hard to clear that up in points but by the bullet it’s lining up we’re cupping our hands to our ears and ringing clear through like bells we fell with our own devices it’s nice isn’t it it’s twice bigger than the facts when we collapse the digits there’s something in it when it all adds up but I’ve stuffed my shoelaces down in so I don’t trip and the grip is easy enough to lose but we’re choosing our own paths and I wish you all the best whether you stepped or fell thataway it’s safe to say you’re sailing on and no wind no rain in your face on your back just keeping track of the sky there are no breadcrumbs there are no mindnumbing certainties when the author is writing the characters does the author think of me does the author consider it a comedy and who’s this author anyway if there’s an up there wherever then who’s to say we’ll never find who’s to say we shouldn’t mind having all our strings pulled just so the author’s whims are fulled fill up the fuel and light the fuse we’re losing sense but keeping the cash we’re stashing the trash where we’ll find it we’ll blind it up to others and all they’ll see is gold

justwrite 10 june

This is the day I am pausing to write on my blog I am telling you about the rain how it waits all day building up moisture in the doorframe so I can only close and open the seal to my apartment with fanfare yes it is me the loud girl at the end of the hall I am the one who is not from around here and down it rushes because it can not go up and pouring is the right word and also the simplest let us be satisfied with precision even as my floorboards wander into the upright positions they were never intended to take these are mistakes but I am telling you the truth I am watching movies instead of making sense but the books I am reading need me to write more need me to tell better stories store more interesting truths today the strawberries more than one kilo for twenty hryvien and most of them taste good and most all of them look good I took a picture and the caption was so unsettled I didn’t post it but it will be the image for this month until something else comes along we are strong-arming schedules you and I where you is also I and we’re so happy together so quietly in the weather but not quite under it so much as beside it as long as this window stays in place I’m lacing my to-do list with a strict set of rules such as regulated tooth-brushing and mind-numbing efforts to be more fit befuddling each previous effort with its uncertain results and disappointing lack of joy today I had pancakes anyway but the cardio and the walking and the fruit yes definitely the fruit I think it’s all coming together every once in a while anyway and while there’s nothing like knowing you’re out of fashion still cashing in some chips every once in a while ought to help today we laughed at the right film for the day the English club way which means a little bit of shock and plenty of confusion but a few hours of illusion that progress is being made and I am playing my part but by now it’s dark and the sleep won’t dream itself

justwrite 9 june

again the night cooler than expected is light still cloudy but unintentional coloring and I have pressed my eyes to the screen too keen to accomplish than to end there are friends but they are elsewhere there is space but it is full and I will sleep late and on and on this is the day I have made these are the groceries and there are the piles here are the lists that are neatly stacked and here are the check-offs that slide off my back and down again past rhymes and accomplishment there are three things to do and two can’t be managed there are two things to do and one seems enough hitting a slump and sliding into it we’re thicker than that and our hats are outsized waiting for a note from the future or maybe even a call doesn’t mean stalling out and if the bug bites itch there’s a stitch in time to save there’s a honeysuckle cave behind closed eyes if I ever run again and I ever can pretend it’s joyful long enough I will call my own bluff and ask it out for tea though coffee’s on the maybe list for now coffee’s on the and how long have you been sitting at the table this morning watchlist and there’s a twist but it’s a different movie there’s a song but it’s not my words that you hear there are fears we all compile and I turn aside a cardio workout on an overwhelmed floor I implore the downstairs neighbors to be patient and have pity I will be gone in one month and they can bang all that they like they can flood upward with relief and stability and when that chair broke I knew I was coming to an end to befriend the quiet of space of cars going by through puddles and uncertainty about remembering I should be taking better notes I should be writing better posts and I can’t believe I forgot my camera I can’t believe I pressed through all of that without bringing anything along as the taxi stalls around the corner I’m still sitting here and my bags are hardly open though the hope is clear enough and the space ahead is blank

justwrite 8 june

It’s the kind of event to pitch a tent to to seek and to find through toward the back exit the text message scrambled with sides of surprise the wise wonderers and the wizended wanderers all meet up and one asks for the bill it’s ducked again and no one pays all that’s left is a list of wishes and a sleep full of nettles if you’re sure that’s what they are and here my teeth are clean here the floss has been liberally stitched digging ditches some might see as more worthy living in huts and chumming with mutts if we didn’t eat so much bread there’d be more to be left unsaid but on this occasion I’m saving the date I’m breaking the chair already and it’s only june we’re tuned by our own swords and the key’s a little tight it might just be the answer and we might just know the question as for teaching lessons and learning them we’re earning ten stars out of all for the right to pay a call to the undertaker bigmistaker we’re tragically unhip and here the royal form is used we’re hippy full of hips but the lips are left to their own devices to tap each other and settle in alone beside to have and to sleep to keep their own counsel and their own soft secrets we are not looking and we are not finding but in every open look and in every perfect glance there’s a chance for something other not that we’d be chasing after just a story to be written and to blinked away just a play with no lines for us no stage directions to trust to throw it all together it’s just cleaner thrown away

justwrite 6 june

when it's time to go the rain comes and when we ask there is no answer we take our chances and the dances are not always clear the path is not always the right way but we play our parts and also harmonicas at times the crimes fit the punishment and at times we ought to listen more but the directions are cler and there are more left turns to make though we're always heading in the right direction if it were easier to be fitter if it were more prioritized would these eyes see the same reflection and what corrections can be made when the fading turns so fast to dark the park and its occupants the weather and its strangers brought together by the haphazard elegance of shared inconvenience and this is a line that i will use again we are stranded banded together the weather oh i know i know and the show goes on but that's a different movie and the worries ally hurry away the plays end their games and the names are all sorted we've purported to be prepared we're glaring on the stage and we're honeysuckling the rage that is an inside-out watermelon dry before its time we are rangers in the forest of consultation and the confirmation will come at the sound of the tone we've grown tired again we're fired my friend like so many pots like so many overwatched canteloupes and you can see it's summer you can feel the window breezed open in this direction too many corrections and not enough truth too many styles and not enough youth we're passing along suggestions we're building new connections we're talking we're walking and the rain carries on the lightning and the brightening we're disturbed by the randomness but the planned bits aren't quite as fun the venn diagrams scrambled up to keep track of what we've got going we're easily blowing the proportions out of sorts and we'll try to keep that under control but it's true that we've stolen this time and we're not giving it back it's a murmur and not an attack so there's that to keep in mind

justwrite 4 june

It’s the kind of thing you write when you’re watching something else your eyes surprised by images the cribbage is a board restored by rules the gruel is an answer on crossword pages yesterday’s stages run on without stop and the mouse on stop yells fells its own regard living large written in certain sense we’re in the present tense and enjoying it for now just for the moment the action scene the music cleans up all confusion how we ought to feel and now that it’s for real we have instant connections hidden dimensions and waterfalls catcalls like out for mice like back for dinner we’re thinner than our pictures but sleepier than the dishes are full we’re woolen in the ears and our meager lives eagerly thrive the magic is unclear but the fear is fair enough the bluff has been called and the stall is straw anyway

justwrite 2 june

Although the time was going forward I was writing the date backward the deadlines already past as I prescribed their completion in the future or is it proscribed rather I’ve described the situation and the hesitation in verbiage strikes as absurd in the unheard speech of a softly written message the keys and the fingers lingering lovingly together seeming to sense sentences before my mind can grasp the task at hand the landing of some strange crafts the rough drafts pouring out of my eyes as the disguised reality it seems to be we are pleased to be here thanks and we are lining up the ranks of those who ought to be congratulated who ought to just be twitterpated at the amount of effort that went into those pansies that handed down that laundry and that fried up such a puzzle that the neighbors might hardly dare ask there are tasks there are lasting impressions and when I write tomorrow it will be about ordering hot chocolate that playagain scene the part before meanlymouthed phonetalkers tried to snactch up the tablecloth and there there that’s then then but onward I will write about a holiday identified by its color there is no number but tomorrow and I think that’s how far I’ll run we are stunned without deadlines we define ourselves by limits but to swim in it and to emerge again the courage to hand in letters of resignation to sign off on approval without documentation we are waiting to be stamped and the damp hands clammy in eager reluctance a tucked branch of something up on the dashboard and another set in the windshield wipers though heaven forbid it should rain and I suppose that’s the very idea as the scuttling turns to Sunday and the baking all is done while the curtains washed so rarely take their turn with morning light